AlwaysForeverStill
by LindaInDC
Summary: 2013 Ficathon Entry. Picks up at the end of "Watershed". Our fair pair face their decisions of the season 5 finale, only to have an unexpected challenge come their way. NOTE: Please have faith that the first chapter is not the end...that some things are not always as they appear... A huge thank you to @dtrekker for the wonderful cover art!
1. Chapter 1

**Always...Forever...Still**

by LindaInDC

Chapter One

To say that Kate Beckett never saw the ring coming was an understatement. She thought she had possibly reached the end of her relationship with Rick Castle. While he sat next to her on the swings, discussing his desire for bigger things for both of them, She felt her breath slow almost to a catch, and her stomach felt as if It were going to be stuck in her throat. So when Castle slid to one knee, proffering a ring and a proposal, her jaw went slack. It took a moment to process the scene. Were things not as hopeless as she had originally assessed?

Her heart pounded a good five beats before she could get her jaw working to answer. There was no doubt, no uncertainty, at that moment-it all made sense. The job was something that she wanted. A lot. But so was Rick. This changed things, because of up until this very moment she considered it an either/or decision – Rick or the job. Now Rick was kneeling before her, offering a different alternative. He offered himself-regardless of her job, her location, or any other factor.

He just wanted her. And he was telling her so.

The answer slid easily from her mouth, flooding her with a sense of peace. It was right.

"Yes."

Castle felt the internal need to fill the what was a seemingly endless pause from his lover, a nervous energy bursting from his inner being and coming out his mouth. A best-selling author by trade, Richard Castle had no problem coming up with words, not even at this point of his life. In his zeal to make sure she knew his thoughts and desires, he did not hear her answer.

"Kate, I don't care about anything else as long as we're together. When I thought about any other option than marrying you, it all seemed wrong. It hurts too much, like tearing out part of my soul."

"Castle, I said..." She tried to interrupt to make sure he had heard the answer.

However, he was focused on all he needed to tell her, and continued. "You are it for me. Always. So, if you need more time, you've got it. I just wanted you to know how I feel and what I want out of this relationship".

Kate felt the stirrings of tears forming in her eyes as Rick poured out his heart. This was classic Castle. Always charging in, full of exuberance. It was one of the many things she loved about Him, but she needed to try and tell him again. Her eyes crinkled with mirth at the moment. No matter how intense things got, there was always an element of comedy, somewhere.

"Oh, Castle, I am so happy to hear that. But, I've already given you my answer".

Castle looked at her with surprise in his face."You did? How did I miss that?"

Kate let out a quiet chuckle, a rare occurrence during work hours. "I don't know, Castle, But it seems you did. Let's try this again, shall we? From the top? "

Richard Castle looked deep into her eyes again, holding out the ring for a moment longer. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me? "

She sucked in a breath again. It still blew her away. "Yes...yes, Rick, I will marry you. I love you." Kate replied, as she slid down to her knees from out of the swing, in front of him. Reaching up, she placed both hands under his jaw, pulling him to her for a slow, delicious kids, sealing this moment in their memories.

Upon ending the kiss, Castle grasped her left hand, sliding the ring home on the fourth digit of her left hand, a visual reminder of the promise they had just made each other. He gathered her up into his arms, pulling her close in a tight hug. He could feel the pounding of her heart against his, both beating fast. Their combined pulses intensified as their lips found the other's once again.

The newly engaged couple knelt there a few moments, soaking in every ounce of this moment for their memory. It was as if time stood still, allowing them to take it all in. Kate was the first to break the silence. "Castle...Rick, They offered me the job. I made a decision. Can we talk about it?"

"Of course". Rick replied as he broke the embrace, stood and offered his hand to help her up. She took his hand, and both made themselves comfortable in the swings, taking their former places, facing each other. "What did you decide?"

Kate paused a moment before replying, trying to order the sequence of events in her head. "I think that the job is a perfect, natural progression for me, in terms of being able to do my job on a much larger scale. I could have much more resources at my disposal to fight crime and corruption. Its a perfect next step. Hell, even Gates wants me to take it...she gave me her highest recommendation".

Castle listened to her comments. Twenty-four hours ago, he would be arguing with her, telling her it was the end of them. But in the present moment, with hours of thought, re-assessing his life, his heart and his desires, he was content to be able to be here, openly discussing this as a unit, with Kate sitting next to him, wearing his ring. He watched her play with the ring, touching the stone, as if to make sure it wasn't a dream.

"So you are going to take it then?"

Kate gave a slight smile, their eyes connecting as she spoke, "I met with my dad to talk about this, about us and what I wanted to do. I left there with my decision made. To take the job. When I got back to the station, to interview the suspect, I was standing in the Interrogation room, telling this guy that he would not lie to me in that room...in my own home...I don't know what happened...a light went on in my head, a moment of clarity. I was sitting across from this...guy...and when I said the words, it was as if was talking to myself".

Castle sat captivated on each word. When she paused, he waited, desperately interested in what her realization was. He could wait no longer.

"What words?" He prompted.

_How many years of your life are you going to sacrifice for someone else's future?_

Kate replied, and Castle was jolted with the emotion in her eyes. He took her hand, a show of support for the woman he loved. He wanted to shout out "Tell me! Tell me what you are thinking!". Instead, he waited quietly, trying to transfer strength from his hand to hers.

"Castle, it never was my plan to become a cop. I was going to be a lawyer, the first female chief justice of the supreme court, remember?" Kate smiled as she related the memory. Rick smiled and nodded briefly in support. Kate continued, "After my Mom's death, I changed my focus to bringing her killer to justice. I had one goal, one mission, and that was to see that person taken down".

She paused a moment, her tongue running over her bottom lip, as she composed her next thoughts. She continued, "After we found Bracken at the heart of it all, I could feel that chapter closing. I have wondered since then what would happen, to my plans, my goals. If I would decide to quit the force and look for something else. But I'm good at my job. I like bringing killers to justice, to help the families of the victims know the truth. That hasn't changed".

Kate paused again. Castle watched her face, intently, inwardly wishing he could take her pain, her bad memories from her, but he also knew that they were part of her, part of the woman he loved. Content to just offer support, he waited to see if she was to continue. Seeing a longer pause, he took a deep breath, releasing it in a soft puff.

"Kate, I was worried before that you would take this job and we would be over. It isn't that simple. We work. We can handle any challenge, as long as we keep talking, keep loving. I want you. I want a life with you, that will never change. So, if we stay here, or you work in DC, or the moon, for all I care that is steadfast for me". He finished, as he turned her chin towards him and placed a loving kiss on her lips. She responded gently.

When the kiss ended, Kate took a deep breath and replied, "For me, as well". She took his hand, looking up into his eyes, and continued, "You are part of me now, and I am a part of you. We are endgame. Choosing between you and anything isn't an option".

Rick squeezed her hand in support. Kate continued, "So, my realization in that interrogation room was that although I want that job, I am not that person anymore. That person died when I struck Bracken. Having that job, would lead me back down the rabbit hole that I have just spent the last couple of years leaving. It is the future for the old Kate Beckett, the one with all the walls, and a string of dead relationships. The new me isn't going to waste another day being tied to the dreams and goals in justice for my mother, so worried that she would be disappointed. Burke told me that I couldn't disappoint my mom, because she was dead. I could only disappoint myself. I hadn't fully understood that...until now."

Rick's heart was beating wildly at her decision. While he was supportive of Kate, and would go to the ends of the earth with her, staying in New York wasn't exactly a hardship, either. He slid over towards her and dropped to his knees in front of her again, resting his hands on her hips, love evident in his face as he looked into her eyes. Kate's hand slid into his hair of its own accord, moving to rest on the back of his neck. "So, Detective Beckett, what are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?", he asked, his hands moving slowly, rubbing circles on her back.

"Well", she began, "I think we should go back to the office, get my things, and tell our friends we want to meet them for drinks later, where we announce our engagement. Then I tell DC to keep their job, tell Gates that I'd like to keep mine, and then we go home. What do you think of that, Castle?" She questioned, her eyes sparkling with love, passion, and comfort of their proximity.

Castle could not be happier. "Baby, next to agreeing to marry me, that is the best idea you've had all day!"

Laughing, he stood, pulling her with him to stand. The motion continued as her arms went around his neck, and the two kissed deeply, slowly, wanting to share their feeling with the other. Ending the kiss, Castle briefly rested his forehead to hers, then smiling at each other, he added, "Let's go".

The elevator doors slid open, marking the transformation of Kate and Rick back into Beckett and Castle, at least mostly, as the ring stayed firmly in place on her hand, and they both were aglow with the magic of the afternoon and their renewed love and purpose toward the future. Striding towards her desk, Kate's steps puller her out in front of Castle as she approached her desk. Looking around, she saw Esposito, who looked up to see the detective walking toward him. Javier Esposito could read Kate like a book. The look of distraction she wore when she left earlier was replaced by another look, but this one seemed lighter, or something.

"Hey, Espo. Where's your partner in Crime?" Kate asked him, referring, of course, to Kevin Ryan, his partner and fellow detective.

Javi grinned quickly at the reference. "He's still in with your guy, Martin. Seems that he is trying to write a book about him and his brother." Looking up, he spotted Ryan. "He must have finished, there he is now."

Just then, Kevin came out of the Interrogation room, a step ahead of the uniformed officers escorting the handcuffed suspect back to be booked and held. Kevin saw that Beckett was back and slowed his step for a moment, trying to prepare mentally for whatever she was going to tell them. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew that something was about to change forever.

Kate had turned to look towards the Interrogation room, following Javi's direction. Castle had arrived back to his chair, and before sitting, decided to remove his jacket. Making eye contact with Kate, Castle gave her a loving wink and nodded, sharing his support. Kate smiled in return, and then could see some commotion over Castle's right shoulder.

At that moment, Martin pushed forward, breaking the momentum the officers had with this transfer. It wasn't a big move, but enough to let him take advantage of the cops handcuffing his hands in front of him and to get close to Ryan. In a moment, he grabbed Ryan's gun, aimed it wildly and fired, determined to hit someone, anyone. He hoped they would kill him. He wasn't disappointed.

The gunshot came out of nowhere, sounding like a cannon going off in the bullpen. Kate and Javi's guns were out in a second, and in a moment, a second and final shot sounded, bringing the suspect down to the ground, dead. Kate and Javi raced the few steps to the action, trying to ensure that the threat was neutralized. Ryan was furious. "Damn it!" He shouted to no one in particular. "Why does everyone think that they can take my gun?" A moment of clarity hit him, and he began to look around, asking, "Is everyone OK? Where did the shot land?"

Everyone stopped and looked around, it seemed that all was ok - no one on the ground or calling for help. At that moment, Kate heard a familiar voice, with a tone she had never heard before...weak, hollow.

"Beckett?"

Kate looked up and smiled at her fiancé. "Its OK, Castle, you can come out now." She teased.

At that moment, she saw a small rosette forming on the front of his blue dress shirt, growing in size and intensity as the blood rose more rapidly to the surface of his chest. It all seemed to be in slow motion. Her eyes looked to his face, seeing the color drain to pale. His eyes slid shut and he sank to his knees, and then face down on the floor as he collapsed, an even larger blood stain on his back.

"Castle! No!" She screamed, running the few steps to her lover. Esposito saw the man fall and yelled out to Ryan, "Get an ambulance! We have a man down!"

Kate got to him in just heartbeats. She turned him and grabbed his coat, using it to apply pressure to his chest. There was so much blood...he was not going to last long. "Castle, no! C'mon baby, look at me, please. Rick, you are not leaving me, you got that?", she commanded and pled, at the same time.

Castle's eyes slid open halfway in response to her voice. "Kate...I'm sorry. Always...I love you". No longer able to keep them open, his eyes slid closed once again.

"No! No! Castle, please don't leave me. Hang on! I love you, too. Hang on!" Kate said, not caring who heard, as she could only see the man she loved. Her hands were soaked in his blood, coating her new ring, which no one had a chance to see yet.

Just then, the elevator doors slid open, and several paramedics ran towards the couple. Wasting no time, they put a collar around his neck, made quick assessments, and then took over the pressure on his chest. Sliding him smoothly onto the gurney, they literally performed a scoop and run to get him to the hospital quickly.

Kate was left sitting on the floor, motionless, as the tears slid quietly down her face. He was gone, she felt him slipping away in her hands. She did not rush to the ambulance, as she was in no hurry to have them confirm what she already knew.

Lanie Parish ran to her best friend, shocked at the blood all over her hands and chest. "Sweetie, are you hurt?", she asked, her voice full of concern.

Kate never looked up at her friend, she kept focused on the blood on her hands, clutching the navy blazer that her love once wore. "I'm not injured. Castle.."

She started gasping as she tried to continue, and found that she could not compose herself, the tears coming out in rolling gasps. A few seconds later, her breathing evened out, allowing her to speak to her friend and medical examiner. Without looking away from the blood, she spoke the horrible news that she knew would change her life completely, irrevocably.

"Castle's dead"

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Before Lanie could respond to the news, the silence was broken by Javi. "He's being taken to Presbyterian. You coming with me?"

Kate's head snapped up to look at the detective, clearly shocked that Castle was still alive, and regretful that she thought the worst so quickly. In an instant, she was up and heading to the elevator with Lanie and Esposito. The trip to the hospital seemed to take forever. Finally, they arrived. The trio entered the emergency room and Kate rushed to find more information. Captain Gates spotted her and ushered her into the back. Lined up against the hallways was all of Castle's police family.

The ER physician came out to speak with the group. He was directed to Kate. The Doctor looked stoic, as he related to the frightened woman, "Mr. Castle has lost quite a bit of blood. The bullet appears to have hit him in the back and exited through his chest. There is quite a bit of damage, and we've taken him into surgery to try and repair it. I'll be honest, it's too soon to tell how things will end up, but we will do everything we can to save his life."

Tears flowed freely down Kate's face as she heard this news. He just had to live. Nothing mattered without him. Her mind went to Alexis and Martha. She turned to look for a quiet space to make a call.

"We've got cars going to pick up his mother and daughter." Captain Gates said, as if reading Kate's mind.

"Thank you, Sir." The woman said quietly.

Shortly Alexis and Martha were escorted into the area. Seeing Kate at the end of the group, Alexis ran to her, throwing herself into the woman's embrace, tears falling hard. Martha joined her and enveloped both younger women into her embrace. That was it for Kate, having this woman wrap her arms around her released a floodgate. She was overcome with sobbing. Javi guided them to the chairs, to allow them to rest as they waited.

Captain Gates took Martha's hand to offer comfort as she related what the physician had said. "Katherine, are you ok, dear?" Martha asked Kate as she reached over to her.

Kate slowed her breathing, dried her tears and took the hand of the closest version of a mother that she'd had in many years. "I'll be OK when he's OK."

Alexis had not spoken at all since she arrived. She clung to Kate, never looking up, resting her head on the woman's shoulder. Kate rested her arm on the young woman's shoulder, each drawing strength and comfort from the other.

Victoria Gates looked around, taking roll call mentally. Everyone was accounted for except for Kevin Ryan.

"Detective Esposito, where is your partner?" The Captain inquired.

It hadn't dawned on Javi to look for his partner. She was right, he wasn't there. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial. The line went straight to voicemail.

"Bro, where are you? We are at Presby ER. Castle's in surgery. Get here ASAP." Javi reported, then ended the call. His gut told him that something wasn't right. He wanted to go look for the man, but, one look at Beckett and Castle's family, quashed that idea, for now. In the meantime, Gates had set the investigation by internal affairs about the shooting in motion.

Hours passed with no report as to the status of Richard Castle. Kate mused that while that was annoying as hell, at least that meant he was still alive. At the moment, that was all she cared to know. Nothing else mattered.

Thoughts as to the condition of the man seemed to trigger the doors to open. The surgeon came through, pulling his scrub cap from his head, tossing it into the laundry bin as he went past. He was calm but appeared to be tired from his efforts. The crowd, previously abuzz with nervous energy, became instantly quiet at the arrival of the physician. He was directed to the family, made his way through the crowd, and stopped at Kate, Martha and Alexis. Someone in the crowd provided a chair for the man to sit, which was gratefully accepted. It seemed like a day and a half before he settled.

The surgeon recalled, "Mr. Castle has made it through surgery. We found that he had quite a bit of internal injuries due to the bullet, but it missed his heart. We were able to repair the damage, but to help him heal, we have him sedated. The next few days are very critical."

The three main ladies in Castle's life held hands as they heard the news. Alexis, who had not spoken since her arrival, was the first to break the silence. "Please, can we see him?"

"In a bit, once we have moved him to the Intensive Care Unit." The surgeon supplied, "I'll have a nurse let you know when you can see him".

"Thank you, Doctor." Martha said as he rose to leave. "Kate, you go in first, and then Alexis and I will go in after."

"Thank you, Martha." Kate said, gratefully.

Not much longer after that, a nurse came and took them to see the injured Castle. Making their way onto the unit, the nurse led them past several rooms with glass walls in a circle around the unit. The sound of buzzers, pumps and beeps filled the area. The nurse led them to room number 11. The glass walls provided no privacy, but that was a good thing in this case.

Castle didn't look like himself, Kate assessed internally, as she moved closer to the man she loved. So much so, that she checked the name on his wristband. He was pale, looked so tiny in the huge bed. Every inch of him seemed to be interfacing with some sort of tube, line, bandage or drain. A tube snaked down his throat to provide oxygen, raising his chest in time with the hiss of the ventilator, another one drained bloody fluid from his chest, and others full of blood, medications and fluids were being administered to replace the volume that he lost and keep him stable. It was almost too much to take in. Almost. Except for the fact that the man she loved more than anyone, anything else in the world was lying in that bed, cold, alone, and fighting for his life.

Kate took his hand and held it. His skin was so cold. She lifted his arm gently, placing a soft kiss on his hand. She noticed as she did so, that she had yet to wash his blood from her hands. She just couldn't bring herself to do it earlier- it seemed like it would be bad luck to do so. She ignored it and continued pressing her lips to his cool skin. She had just a few minutes, so she wanted to be sure to let him hear her voice.

Leaning as close to him as possible, she began. "Castle, I love you. Please don't leave me. I need you to stay here and fight. For Alexis, your mom and for me. I want so much to see those beautiful eyes, hear you call my name and I want to be married to you. Please, sweetheart, come back to me."

Kate reached over and around his tubes and straightened a lock of hair that was askew on his forehead. She loved this man and wanted him to come back to her. If she could turn back time, she wished that they would have gone straight home, made love and enjoyed the rest of the day together as a newly-engaged couple. But that didn't happen, she couldn't go back and now she had to face the fact that he was in here, fighting.

At that moment, a delicate hand rested on her shoulder. She turned and found Alexis there, her face pale at the shock of seeing her father in this condition.

"Oh my God, Dad. Please be OK." Tears fell again and the young woman grasped the bedrail and Kate's arm for balance. Kate shifted and traded places with Castle's daughter, then said, "Go ahead and spend some time with your Dad. I'll go get your grandmother. Be strong for your Dad, sweetie. I love you, Alexis."

Alexis hugged the detective, "Thank you. I love you too, and so does Dad. I saw the engagement ring, Kate...I'm so sorry."

Kate hugged the girl tighter. Alexis' maturity belied her years. Kate took a deep breath and then spoke, "Thank you, honey. It'll be OK. We will be strong for your Dad, and believe that he will come back fully to us."

The two broke the embrace, and Kate slipped out of the room, touching Rick's leg as she turned to go, making a final connection before leaving the room. She quietly made her way out of the ICU and back to the waiting area. She hugged Martha and let her know where Rick was placed. Martha thanked her and made her way into the unit, a concerned look still firmly on her face.

Kate stopped to speak with Captain Gates and Javi and related the condition of her fiancé. Both tried their best to relate their strength and positive energy to this woman, so obviously in need of all the good things she could get in her life at the time.

Kate Beckett made her way past the pair, through the small crowd of well-wishers and down the hall towards the ladies' room. She looked back at the people she called family, friends. Several with families were preparing to go home, now that Rick was out of surgery.

She slipped through the bathroom door, pushed the doorknob lock and studied herself in the mirror. What she saw gave her a shock. She was literally covered in Castle's blood. Her blouse was stained and crusted with the blood of the best man she knew. She held up her hands, looking at them in the mirror, and then down at them directly. Blood had dried and caked into the creases of her hands and fingers. She must have been a fright to see. Taking a deep breath, she reached out and turned on the faucet, adjusting the water temperature.

Holding her hands under the flow, the blood began to moisten, and run loosely down into the sink, swirling around in the bowl, making its way to disappear down the drain. As more skin was exposed to the water, the brighter red the stream into the sink became. The sight made the events of the day come flooding back into her mind. The blood was unstoppable. Castle was slipping away from her. The feelings were too much. She was overcome with sorrow again. Doubling over in physical and emotional pain, she slid to the floor, holding her sides as she cried for her lover, her fiancé, her friend, her...Always.

Kevin Ryan stood in shock as he watched Richard Castle go to the floor, shot and bleeding. He was momentarily mad at the suspect that had grabbed his gun, attempting to commit suicide by cop, he assumed. Thinking the worst that could have happened was that they'd have to hang a new picture over the new bullet hole in the bullpen, it never entered his mind that anyone, let alone one of his closest work friends would have been hit.

_Damn it!_ He thought to himself. _Why did I still have on my gun? _

Mentally, he berated himself. How could he have let this happen? Why is his gun being used again?

And Castle? Why did Castle have to be the one to be hit? One of his closest friends, and he was responsible for it? Of course he didn't pull the trigger, but it was his gun. He might as well have.

Kevin was dying inside, as he watched the paramedics take Castle away, and Beckett crushed and lost on the floor, covered in his blood. He couldn't take anymore. The senior officer in the squad room had secured his service weapon as evidence, so there was no need to secure it any longer. He knew that they would take his shield as part of the investigation, anyway.

Damn it.

He pulled the shield off, studied it briefly, as if committing it to memory, and then placed it on his desk. He was guessing he had worn it for the last time, anyway, once IA got ahold of him. And he couldn't look himself in the mirror if he caused another innocent person to suffer at his hand - directly or indirectly.

He was duty bound to do the right thing, even at his own expense. Kevin Ryan quickly typed his statement and placed it under the Captain's door, along with his letter of resignation. He then walked out of the precinct, seemingly for the last time as a detective.


	3. Chapter 3

Note - Thank you to everyone that is reading, favoriting and most of all reviewing this story! This is my first Castle fanfic, but I have been a fan since the start, and I hope to do Caskett justice.

I will try to do at least one update a week - more if I am able. Keep reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Three

Kate sat quietly at Castle's bedside. She alternated between holding his hand, talking to him , and resting fitfully while sitting up in a chair. She knew that days had passed, as she kept count by the number of times that nurses came in to shave her fiancé. The surgeon came in and indicated that he was holding his own, and that he was actually starting to breathe on his own, and even beginning to fight the ventilator. If all went well overnight, he would remove the breathing tube the next day. If he remained stable then, when he woke, he would be transferred from the ICU.

"Castle, keep it up. You'll be out of this place in no time." Kate Beckett instructed her fiancé as she rubbed lotion onto his arms.

She heard a noise at the front of the room. Looking up, she saw the kind face of Martha Rodgers. "How is Richard getting along this morning? I swear that my son always wants to be the center of attention, so why should now be any different?"

That brought a genuine smile to the detective, the first in days.

Martha sat down next to the younger woman. Examining her face, she could see the stress, the fatigue weighing heavily on Kate Beckett. Martha knew that Kate loved her son, but this selflessness cemented it for her.

Martha suggested, "Katherine, why don't you go home, freshen up and get some much needed rest?"

Kate looked up to meet Martha's face, then slid her gaze onto Castle.

"Thanks, Martha, but I'm OK." Kate replied, not wanting to let this man out of her sight.

"Nonsense. You need to be here for Richard, but if you let yourself get worn down, you'll regret that, too." Martha reasoned to the woman's sensibilities.

Too tired to debate, Kate acquiesced. "Fine...you'll let me know if anything happens while I'm gone?"

Martha stood and pulled her into a hug, replying, "Of course, darling. Now go and take care of yourself."

Kate Beckett walked out the front doors of the hospital, into the sunlight for the first time in days. She had been stuck inside the hospital, watching over the writer she loved. Beckett retrieved her phone, powering it on for the first time in days. She was surprised to see several voicemails, emails and texts. Scanning the pending communications, she cringed to see the 202 area code displayed several times. "Damn it." Kate said aloud as she keyed up the messages. Deputy Attorney General Anthony Freedman had left three messages, beginning with a friendly follow up on the day Castle was shot, to a terse "I told you that it was a rare opportunity...I can't imagine that you are going to pass this up...No matter what you decide, I would like a call."

Kate couldn't believe that she had not called him yet. Although, to be honest, she hadn't been away from Rick's bedside in days. And not having to confront this, for some reason, was not a bad thing, in her opinion. She knew that she would have to deal with Freedman...just not right now.

Continuing on, she scanned the other messages, surprised to find one from Jenny Ryan, Kevin's wife from the day after the shooting. Opting to press play, she listened to the message three times. Jenny spoke, her voice quivering with concern, that bordered on worry.

"Detective Beckett? This is Jenny Ryan. I am so sorry to hear about Rick. I saw on the news that he was shot. You both are in my prayers. I'm also checking to see if you've heard from Kevin. He hasn't been home, and I'm worried. Please let me know if you have seen him, and if there is anything you need...goodbye."

Scanning the text messages, she noted several from Esposito.

"Yo, let me know if you hear from Ryan."

"It's important...let me know if Kevin appears..."

"Ryan has resigned...IA and Gates are looking for him. Sorry to worry you, but let me know if you see him..."

She ran through the shooting in her head once again. Her gut told her that Kevin was throwing himself on his sword, and she was both worried at what he had done, and wanting to kick his ass for throwing it all away. She hit Ryan's speed dial number, and wasn't surprised when it went straight to voicemail. Continuing on, she dialed Ryan's partner, Esposito. He answered on the second ring. "Yo, Beckett. How's Castle?"

"Holding his own. What the hell is going on with your partner?" She queried.

Espo responded, "I don't know. Seems like he typed up his statement, and resigned while we were at the hospital. The desk said that he left about an hour after we got Castle to the hospital, and vanished into the ether. Beckett...IA is investigating this, but since he isn't here, they're probably gonna throw him under the bus. Gates is out for his head."

Kate sucked her breath in through her teeth as she replied, "Damn it! This wasn't his fault." She paused, then asked, "Any leads on where he might be holed up?"

Javi reflected, "I talked to Jenny a bit ago, and asked her just that. She's been racking her brain, trying to come up with ideas. The only place that she could think of was the cabin up in the mountains where they honeymooned. She's really worried...she's been trying to track his phone with their lost phone app, but it must be turned off...its like he's just...vanished."

Sensing Beckett's unease at the thought of their missing colleague, Javi added, "Kate, I'll find him. You just focus on getting Castle back up and plying us with his crazy theories ASAP."

The theory quip made Kate smile. God, she needed that. "Thanks, Espo, I'll do that. Keep me posted. The longer he stays out, the worse it'll look to IA."

"Rodger that." Javi replied and then ended the call.

The lock turned with a loud click, granting access for Kate Beckett into her home. She had been practically living with Castle but frankly, her apartment was closer to the hospital than his, so the decision was made easily. Dropping her bag, she took a moment to lean against the kitchen counter to review the mail that had accumulated since the night before Castle had been shot. Seeing nothing important, Kate tossed the stack onto the counter. Suddenly, her senses perked up, something was afoot.

Kate slid her gun from her waistband, looking carefully around her apartment, but nothing was found out of the ordinary. Shaking her head, she slid the gun back into her waistband.

"I gotta get some sleep." Kate declared to herself, aloud as she blew out a deep exhale from across her lips. She turned and began to walk towards her bedroom.

"But before you do that, I'd like to have some answers." Came a mysterious voice from behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everyone! Thanks again for the continued reviews, follows and favorites! I am beyond thrilled at the feedback. This chapter has a lot of twists - hang on! We are starting to change gears and see where this baby leads. I hope you enjoy it and please keep the reviews coming. :)

Here we go!

* * *

Chapter Four

Jenny Ryan was a mess. In the span of a few days, she went from a married woman, mid-honeymoon phase, fostering a new life within her, the product of the love and hope of her and her husband, Kevin - to living in fear for the future of their relationship and her husband's well-being. On the day of the shooting, Kevin called, sounding out of sorts. He left a cryptic message on her voicemail.

"Honey, there's been a shooting. I'm not hit, but things are far from over. I...I'm...I'm sorry."

With that, he hung up. There'd been no other communication since, and his phone went straight to voicemail now, which explained why she couldn't track his phone with an app. Emails and texts went unanswered, too. Turning on the TV, her heart sank when the reports aired of the shooting at the twelfth precinct. Her emotions were further dashed when it was noted that famed author Richard Castle was the sole victim of the shooter, and his condition was listed as serious. She knew that this must be what Kevin's message referred to, but what in the world had happened that caused him to drop off the face of the planet?

On the day of the shooting, Jenny made her way downtown to the precinct, looking for any information, and more importantly, to see Kevin, if only for just a few minutes. She was turned away, as the precinct was locked down due to the shooting. Returning home, she felt no better than when she left. Now, days later, she knew no more than she did that first day.

Tears lined her cheeks for who-knows-how many times since this all began. She was terrified that their friend was dying, that his life with Kate would be cut short, and that she herself would never see her husband again, as well.

She focused her thoughts - what should she do? What could she do? Reaching for her telephone, she had called Kevin's partner and closest friend, Javier Esposito. He listened, and gave as much information as he knew, and most importantly, he promised that he would help find Kevin. He also let her know that he knew about the baby, as well. He asked her to try and take care of herself and the baby, too.

It wasn't much in terms of action, but Jenny Ryan felt better after hanging up with Javi. She knew the best thing for her to do would be to stay home, and entrust Javi to find his partner.

Grabbing a notepad, she wrote a note to her husband, on the hopes that he would return home to read it. She finished quickly, and stuck it onto the front of the fridge. Wiping tears away that continued to fall, she took her keys and went to the car, to spend some time with her parents, just to be able to feel human contact with people she loved. She felt hope that Kevin would be found, that she would be able to try and understand why he went away, and make some sense of it all.

But it wouldn't make it any easier in the meantime.

* * *

Kate knew that voice, despite only hearing it a small number of times.

"Mr. Freedman...?"

"Detective Beckett," The man said in return. "Since I haven't heard from you, I called your Captain, and learned that you have had some personal issues. So, in a move to show how interested we are to have you join us, I am here. Is everything resolved, now?"

Kate was surprised, both pleasantly that he came to New York and not so pleasantly that he referred to Castle's shooting as a "personal issue".

Kate, finding a sense of strength that she didn't realize she had, replied,"Sir, I feel bad that you had to come up from DC to check on me. I meant to call you, but you see, my "issue "was that my fiancé was shot and almost died. He's still in the hospital, fighting for his life. So no, it's not "resolved"."

Freeman studied her carefully. He noted the tone of her voice, her body language. She was one tough customer. But so was he. And he wasn't about to take no for an answer. "Detective, I knew exactly what's been going on. The question to you would be, is that the only reason you haven't called me?"

Kate was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Deputy Freeman looked at her sternly, then continued. "Detective, I'm asking If, when all is resolved with your boyfriend, will you be coming to DC to take on this opportunity, a new avenue for you, that you were destined to take on? Or are you going to stay here, playing it safe, being on-the-job, just pushing through life?"

Freeman's reference to her life being mundane, acting as if he knew her, and trying to get into her head made Kate angry. Pissed off even. She took a moment before she answered him, then stated "Deputy Freeman, I'm sorry you've wasted your time coming here. I thought that this is something that I wanted, something that I could take on and make a difference. But sometimes, your dreams don't measure up to reality. I've had a chance to think about it and I had already decided not to take the position before my fiancé" - She emphasized the word fiancé to show how much more than just a boyfriend Rick Castle was to her- "was shot. I realized that taking this position would have afforded me a lot of opportunity, and on the surface that sounded like a really good thing. But, there are things in my life that I've worked hard to come to terms with. I put in the time, and am able to move on past them. In reality, this job would only pull me back down into where I worked so hard to come from."

Freeman interrupted her, "I'm assuming you're talking about the death of your mother, and all the debacle that happened with finding her killer?"

Kate Beckett felt even more irritation towards this man, but she kept cool on the surface. "That's part of it, yes. It took a lot of time and sweat and blood and lives to meet that head on and find her killer, and the man who hired him. "

Freeman's face, normally being calm, unreadable, suddenly took on a hard look."What the hell you talking about? "

Kate looked at him, slightly surprised at his lack of professionalism. "Oh come now, Mr. Freeman, I would've assumed that you would have done some research on this? Don't you know?"

Freeman stood stock still for a moment, then took a deep breath and replied, "We're done here, for now. Detective, I strongly recommend that you reconsider this decision. Yours clearly isn't the most optimal response and you owe yourself, you owe your country better." With that, he turned, walked out the door and disappeared. Kate walked to the door, shutting and locking it, without looking where the man had gone.

Breaking out onto ground level, Freeman exited out the doors of the apartment building, and into a black Town Car that awaited him out in front. The car slid effortlessly back into the stream of traffic. The Deputy Attorney General paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, then he pulled his phone from his coat and engaged a number from speed dial on the encrypted phone. In a moment, the other end picked up. His expression turned dark, brooding.

"It's me. Things aren't going according to plan. I'm heading back to DC, but this is not finished, not even close. She'll come around, you have my word on it."

* * *

Later that evening, Kate returned to the hospital. Martha saw her approach and motioned for her to come sit with her in the waiting area. The older woman looked tired, mentally and physically. "Katherine, I hope you got some rest. I wasn't going to call until they were finished, but it seems that Richard is exerting so much energy fighting the breathing machines, that they decided to turn it off."

Martha smiled subtly before continuing, "He's done so well, that they're taking out the breathing tube right now."

Kate was happy and concerned at the same time. She grabbed Martha's hand in support. Her smile filled her face, and hope began to spring up inwardly.

_He's turned a corner - _was the thought that came to mind.

Shortly, they were updated by his physician, and were given the OK to see him - one at a time. Martha let Kate go first. Making her way into the unit, and down to his room, each step seemed to take longer than before. She had to see him. Just before reaching his room, Rebecca, Castle's nurse, greeted her, briefing her on how he was doing, and that he tolerated the procedure well. Kate didn't hear the nurse's words - her mind and heart had already moved past her and into the room just beyond her. Rebecca could see that, and ushered her into the small room.

Kate walked into the room, and nothing else caught her focus, but the sight of the man she loved in that hospital bed. In that moment, everything seemed to slow to a crawl. Her heart nearly stopped at what she saw.

Richard Castle was awake.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you again to each of you that are reading, reviewing, following and adding as a favorite-it's so much appreciated! I love this show, and hope I am doing justice to it and the characters. This chapter is a bit longer than previous, and full of action! I hope you enjoy it! :)

* * *

Chapter 5

Not only was Castle awake, he was looking right at her, and he was smiling.

God, it felt good to see him smile! A piece of her heart began to work again, something she hadn't even missed until it started to work once more.

His face was pale, his voice slightly hoarse, but Castle quietly spoke "Kate, I missed ya! Do you have any idea how good it is to see you? Where've you been?"

Kate Beckett's heart leapt with happiness. A small glimmer of joy in the midst of the dark days behind that she faced without him. Her face beamed as she answered, "I can say the same thing myself, Castle, but I didn't go anywhere - you did... for a bit." Her voice tight with emotion, she continued, "It's really good to see you."

He didn't reply, but a small warm smile slid on his face. It said everything. With most of his tubes and lines gone now, the only thing that encumbered Castle was the IV, still firmly in place in his arm. He fought with it slightly, reaching towards the bedside table to get some ice water from his cup, easing the dry sensation in his throat.

"Okay, Beckett," Castle began, "I put two and two together and came up with the fact that I have been shot. I actually remember feeling more like fire ripped through me back to front. Not my most favorite experience. But what else? Mother looks like she's about to cry, and I know that I can't rate all of that emotion, even from the great Broadway star. " He teased, as he waited for a reply from his fiancée.

Kate reached and picked up his hands, covering his with both of hers. "Castle, Martin got the drop on some of the uniforms at the precinct. Ryan was just ahead of the uniforms that were bringing Martin out of interrogation. Somehow, he lunged ahead, grabbed Ryan's gun and managed to get a shot off before being taken out himself." Throughout this summary, Kate tried to remain in control of her emotions, reminding herself that Castle was still alive and it was all going to be okay.

Castle was shocked. "My God! Ryan must be torturing himself. Is he okay? "

Kate answered slowly, "Well, truth is, no one knows. Ryan finished his report and turned in his gun and badge. No one's seen him since the shooting, not even Jenny. She's beside herself with worry. Espo's out looking for him, in the middle of trying to cooperate with an IA investigation. Everything's gone to Hell quickly.

Castle could hardly believe what he was hearing. "Kate, we have to find him. I'm frightened for him that he's gone to ground for this long. Something's not right. "

Kate understood his worry, and frustration. She was moved at his need to help, but had to remind the injured man. "Honey, I appreciate you want to help, but you're in no shape but to do anything that involves being out of this bed."

"Ordinarily, this would be the part where I would say something suave and pull you into said bed with me." The recuperating man offered, almost as an automatic response to the woman of his desires.

"Wow, you must be feeling better. You went from ragged to randy in two seconds flat, Castle. " Beckett quipped, a momentary lapse from the discussion.

"Well, I'll be back up to instant, full-fledged horniness in no time. " He delivered back her way, a smirk on his lips as he spoke. Even this was good to hear again, again she was reminded at how close she came to losing this man.

Pausing just a second, he continued, back on the topic of their friend. "So, what do we know so far?"

With perfect timing, Kate's phone rang. Looking at the screen, she slid it on and answered, "Espo, what'ya got?"

The sound of his voice was intermingled with road sounds. He was speaking handsfree from his car. "Beckett, it's all hit the fan. I have been tracking down our buddy, but he's been hard to find. I got a hit from a toll booth camera in the Catskills. His car is at a cabin at a campground. His phone is off, so I am headed up there to talk some sense into him. He's not been outside the cabin that anyone has seen since he got there. I bet he's holed up, drinking and beating himself up. This is gonna be one hell of a time trying to get him to listen to reason."

During Espo's report, Castle began gesturing for Kate to turn on the speakerphone. She did so, and responded, "OK, let me know if you find him. Now that Castle's awake, I can..."

Esposito interrupted, "He is? Great news!"

"Javi, go get Ryan. None of this is his fault. He has to know that." Castle informed, his voice gravelly from irritation.

"Yo Castle! You get better. I will keep you both updated on what I find. But, there is something else...Beckett, we got the ballistics back, IA has been running point on this and not sharing. I got a copy from a friend, but it took some time. The bullet that hit Castle...Beckett...it didn't come from Ryan's gun."

Kate's eyes snapped to make contact with Rick's. "What? What are you saying? If not his gun, where did it come from?"

Espo continued, "Ryan's gun is a Glock-17. The bullet IA pulled from the wall in the bullpen was from a .38. Its a different gun. Ryan doesn't have a .38, at least that I know of."

"What the Hell?" Castle asked, confused. "There was only one gunshot. I remember that." Kate locked eyes with him, nodding as she did so.

"This is all wrong. Completely wrong. Espo, I'm gonna to go to the precinct, and see what Captain Gates knows as to the investigation." Kate supplied, as she ran her hand over Castle's.

"Understood. I'll call when I get to our boy." Espo said as he ended the call.

Kate slid the phone into her pocket, and slid over to take Rick's hand in hers. He pulled her hand higher, until the engagement ring came to his lips, where he placed a gentle kiss onto the larger stone, then a second onto her hand. Her other hand brushed through his hair, as her lips settled for a soft, lingering kiss. "I have to go. I'll let your mom and Alexis know, and I'll get back here as soon as I'm done." Kate explained.

"No," Came the solid reply from Castle. "I'm coming with you, Kate." Rick lifted the cover from his body, determined to rise from the bed.

Kate's eyes were huge at the display from her fiancé, "What do you think that you're doing? Rick, we've already gone over this, you have to stay in the bed!"

Despite the obvious fatigue on his face, Rick would not listen to reason, "Kate, you said it yourself, this all stinks. My gut tells me that there is something going on here, and I can't let you just go out there alone."

Rick...honey, listen to me. You've had surgery, you lost a lot of blood, and needed help breathing, even. Granted, you are doing better, but you've got no business doing anything but healing. Please, if something happened to you, I...I don't think I could take it. Especially if I could have stopped it." Her eyes moistened with tears, one slipping past her lashes to tumble down her cheek.

Rick's hubris deflated at her emotional response. He was worried for her, but reason settled, that he would only be a distraction for her. That distraction for Kate could have greater consequences. Guilt and disappointment took hold on his face.

Kate saw the defeated expression and it broke her heart. Thinking a moment, she had an idea. "Hey, how about I consult with you on the phone? Although you aren't there in person, I can have access to that wonderful thing that is your brain, your out-of-the-box writer thinking. I may even be willing to entertain a wild alien conspiracy theory or two, in the process. What do you say?"

Castle's lips twitched in humor, and his heart filled with love at the gesture. Kate was trying to keep him involved, but also being the voice of reason. His brain asked him how he got so lucky to have found her.

"OK, Detective Beckett, you've got yourself a deal. But know that if I don't hear from you after you talk to the Captain, and if I don't have you in my arms before dinner, I'm breaking out of this joint!"

Kate laughed with him quietly, "Deal." They sealed the agreement with a lingering kiss. She felt his pulse quicken at the touch. "Hey now, easy there, partner. Don't get so excited. You're gonna make the nurses come to check on you"

Castle replied with a light laugh and a smile, "Have you seen my fiancée? How could I not get excited?" His facial expression then became more serious, and he added, "Kate, I love you. Be careful."

The woman's heart sped up with joy. "Count on it. I love you, too." At that, she left his room.

He watched her leave, and he stopped fighting the pull of fatigue that he had felt for a while. Despite the brave face he showed his fiancée, Rick Castle was asleep before Kate left the nursing unit.

* * *

Kate Beckett strode into the precinct with purpose, determined to learn more about the investigation. Looking at the Captain's office, she saw the woman behind her desk, phone at her ear, and a very solemn look on her face. Waiting until the woman completed the phone call and hung up the phone, Kate looked around the precinct. She could still hear the gunshot, smell the gunpowder floating in the air, and feel the warmth of Castle's blood on her hands. The feeling that hit her on the day of the shooting slowly ebbed back into her soul. Giving herself a mental shake, she noticed that the captain had ended her call. Moving slowly to the door, she announced her arrival with a slight knock.

Captain Victoria Gates, known also as "Iron Gates", looked up, making eye contact with the junior officer through the door's glass. "Come in, Detective. How's Mr. Castle?" Gates motioned for Kate to have a seat in one of the empty chairs in her office. Kate sat down before she answered.

"Castle's doing better. He's off all the machines. I am surprised at how alert he is today, I had to threaten him to make him stay in the hospital bed. He's worried about Ryan. Frankly, he's not the only one, Sir." Kate reported.  
Gates paused, frowning slightly before she replied. "Detective, Internal affairs is running this investigation. But frankly, I'm concerned about Detective Ryan, too. He's not helping himself by disappearing. His partner is looking for him, although in an unofficial capacity."

Kate Beckett looked astounded at the senior officer's statement.

Looking at Beckett's shocked expression, she continued, "Oh, come now, detective. I have feelings, too. I don't think he did anything wrong either. But I have to let IA do their investigation, and I must follow the recommendations provided. However, that doesn't mean I have to stand by and let them railroad Kevin Ryan, Simply because he decided to fall on his sword in some overdeveloped, yet misguided sense of guilt."

Kate responded, "Thank you, Sir. What else do we know? I spoke to Esposito earlier, and he said ballistics proved Ryan's gun wasn't used. So why hasn't IA let up? That alone should exonerate him."

Gates sat down in her chair again, as she responded, "Well, according to IA, they don't see it that way. Although the bullets don't match Detective Ryan's service weapon, they think perhaps he had a second weapon that might have been used." The captain raised her hands slightly in concession, continuing, "I know, I didn't say I agree with them. In my opinion, I'm a little surprised at their narrow focus. They seem to be on a witch hunt."

Beckett gave her a funny look. Knowing that Gates came to the twelfth from IA, it surprised her at the woman's frankness regarding the investigation and the investigating division she previously represented.

Kate paused, then asked, "Have the uniforms that were transporting Martin been questioned?"

Gates shook her head as she responded, "Not officially. IA seems to have really focused in on Ryan and his gun."

This news did not sit well with Kate. "What the Hell? Why are they disregarding basic procedure? Even a rookie wouldn't be this dense! Sir, I'd like to request permission to talk with the two uniforms."

"Request denied, Detective. Remember, this is IA's case." Gates admonished the woman.

Beckett's voice tightened as she began to speak, "Sir, we have to be able to speak to..."

"However, "Gates interrupted the woman's tirade, "If you happened to run into them, say, in interrogation room two in say, 15 minutes, perhaps you could strike up a casual conversation with them? "

For the countless time that day, Kate Beckett was floored. Speechless. She opened her mouth once or twice, trying to work it to provide a response, but all she could get out was, "sir? "

Victoria Gates, for all her formidable, staunch behavior, was a fair woman. She had a way of doing things, and would not vary from that. However, she also knew that she needed to be a leader that her team could trust. This was one of those times, because It seemed that the "powers that be" were not providing a fair shake. So, with her and her way of doing things, she could still show that she was a fair leader, and get to the truth in the process.

After a moment, Kate began to think clearly, once more. She knew that despite that hard exterior, this woman cared for her people and cared to find the truth in every situation."Thank you, sir. I think we could manage to have that casual conversation, especially if perhaps, you were to contact them, and let them know that I was hanging around? "

Gates gave her a knowing smile, then replied, "I think I can make that happen."

Before Kate left her office, Capt. Gates picked up the phone and dialed the desk sergeant, to have the two uniformed officers to go to interrogation. However, she had a strange look on her face, and raised her hand, indicating that the younger woman not leave her office, just yet.

"I see, keep trying, thank you, Sargent." At that, she hung up the telephone, her expression flat, hard. Gates spoke, her voice tight with irritation, "We have a problem. They're not here, today- neither of them. In fact, they've not been here since the shooting."

Warning bells were sounding in Kate Beckett's head. This confirmed to her that things were much deeper, much larger than anyone had originally anticipated. Exiting Gates' office, Kate went to her desk to hold up her end of the promise she made earlier- to update Castle on what had happened.

* * *

Javier Esposito slid his car to a quiet stop outside of cabin number 104 at the pine lodge mountain cabins. Javi noted the sounds of the rustling of the wind through the trees, the musical chirping of birds in those trees, and the occasional screech of a child playing off in the distance, but little else. He walked over to Ryan's car, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Feeling the hood, he noted it was cool, meaning it had not been driven in a while. At that, he slowly approached the cabin door, looking around outside, for any signs of disturbance, or any other out of the ordinary sights. He saw none. He knocked at the door and paused, listening for any sound coming from inside the cabin. He heard no sound at all.

"Yo, Bro! You here?" Esposito called out as he knocked again. Once again, he was met with silence. Despite seeing the car, he pulled the paper he had written the cabin number upon as he spoke to the manager, he verified that it was indeed 104. Before kicking the door in, he tried the doorknob. Surprisingly, the door opened easily. Espo reached for his gun, holding it close to his chest, as he began to enter the cabin. His heart began to beat quickly, nervous at what he might find inside. His inner dialogue began, "Would Ryan be inside, drunk and passed out? Would he be… no…don't even think that way. He isn't dead. And he wouldn't kill himself, either. He'd never do that to Jenny, especially not now with a baby on the way. "

Sliding into the cabin fully, Esposito quickly took in the surroundings. It was a small, one room cabin, with a bathroom off to the side. What Espo didn't see did not alarm him as much as what he did see – the place had been trashed. Broken bottles of whiskey lay on the floor, and a small amount of blood was also spotted nearby. Chairs were overturned, and a small table lay broken, leaning against the wall. The mattress had been knocked off of the bed, and the frame of the bed had been knocked crooked, as if something had been shoved down and across it with great force. Seeing something that looked like a wallet under the bed, Javi walked over and retrieved it, careful not to touch it directly, but used a pen. Flipping it over, his heart sank.

It was Ryan's, with his driver's license picture staring back up at him. There before him on the floor was proof that his partner and friend indeed had been in this cabin. Whatever had happened, Ryan was no longer in this cabin, and he didn't leave on his own accord.

Esposito stood and retrieved his phone. He pressed a number on speed dial, to report first to Capt. Gates, to let her know what he had found, and more importantly, what he had not found. Hanging up from Gates, who told him to secure the area while she called local law enforcement for backup, he began to call Kate Beckett. His heart sank a little at the events of the afternoon, and he hoped that somehow they would be able to find Kevin Ryan before it was too late.

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

I want to give a big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review or like the story. It genuinely is a labor of love on my part. We are getting into parts where there are a few twists and turns, but stay tuned as you'll see as we go how it all fits together.

And how many of us are counting the days until we get an answer for that proposal in season six? Caskett forever! :)

* * *

Chapter 6

Pain.

Pure unadulterated agony.

To die would be an improvement.

Kevin Ryan lay in the darkness, taking stock of his injuries and pain, as he fought to swim up from the boggy haze in which he was floating. He had no idea where he was, how we got there, or when it was, either. He knew nothing but the surging pain that rolled through every inch of his body, flooding him in a prolonged torture. He had ague flashes of being beaten, but it seemed as if it were scenes from a movie, rather than happening directly to him. His heartbeats marked the seconds, mixing into moments, where minutes became hours. Thankfully, between the mixture of pain and drugs he was able to slip in and out of consciousness - it did nothing to help him remember where he was or how long he had been there, but at least he was free of the suffering, if only for a little while.

He could tell he was on the ground, perhaps on some small mat or blanket. The room was completely dark, the only light from a small clock several feet away from him. Not that the clock did much to help orient him to the time, for at some point the power must have been off, at the clock flashed 12:00 incessantly. His brain was far too muddled to try and make sense of much, but he was able to recall one thing. He remembered Castle, lying on the floor in the squad room of the precinct, dying. Worst of all it was from a bullet from his own gun. In that moment, the ache of sadness, the sting of all that had happened hit him full force. His self-pity drove him to a deep, dark place. "Perhaps this is karmic justice for the pain I've caused Kate and Castle, if he's even still alive," he thought, as he lay on his side. His injuries were too severe to allow him much movement without sharp flashes of intense pain, so he was content to not move, and mentally beat himself up, to match the physical abuse that he had endured, as well.

Remaining in the darkness and solitude, he could hear nothing but his own heartbeat, which reminded him he was still alive, while also reminding him that Castle probably wasn't. He still heard nothing, but felt a burning sensation, and he once again was acquainted with the weightless feeling. Kevin awaited eagerly the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness, to once again take him away from all of the regret, which was too much to bear.

* * *

"What do you mean he's not there?" Gates questioned as Esposito filled her in on what he had found.

Javi reported with a professional tone, despite the inner turmoil he was fighting back."Sir, I got here, and the place was a wreck. There's clearly been a struggle. Ryan's car is here and his things. But not him. He's gone, somebody took him. "

Gates took in the information, and continued the questions. "Are the local LEOs involved?"  
Javi nodded, despite the fact she could not see him. "Yes sir. They're on scene, but as it's now getting dark they doubt they'll be able to find him in the surrounding wilderness, so they will start a search of the perimeter at first light. We've also been going from cabin to cabin, asking if anyone had noticed anything out of the ordinary. So far, nothing."

Gates' brow furrowed in concentration as she listened, then replied, "That's fine, Detective Esposito. I'll put a call into the lead detective and offer our resources. Let's plan to talk again once the search resumes. Call me in between now and then if you find anything."

"Yes, sir." Esposito answered, ending the call.

Almost as if upon instinct, Beckett made eye contact with the Captain as the call ended. Reading the silent "Come here" from her commanding officer, she rose and in a moment, was seeking permission to enter. Gates looked up, grateful for the Detective's astute sense of response.

"Esposito just called. He got to the cabin and Ryan was not there. From the damage he described, it looks as if his partner was taken." The Captain supplied.

Kate's eyes were full of concern as she spoke, "Are there any leads? Did anyone see anything?"

Victoria Gates sat back in her chair, pulling her glasses from her face as she reclined, dropping them softly onto her desk. "So far, nothing. Esposito is working with the local authorities. They'll search in the morning, and the door to door search is still underway, but nothing has turned up, yet. IA has taken over the search for the missing uniforms-our hands are a little tied, here."

Kate rocked slightly forward on her feet, anxiousness in her tone, "Sir, what can I do?"

"Right now, Detective, I would suggest coordinating the review of any of Ryan's cases that the perp has been recently released. Detective Ryan may have made in some enemies in his arrests. We have a transfer that started today, a Detective Markowitz. He's come with an amazing record, and will be leading a team. I will assign them to assist in researching some of Ryan's collars and hopefully we can have more to go on. Although it looks like he's missing, there may still be a slim chance that he trashed the cabin and went off on his own." Gates supplied, not really convinced of her last statement. She then looked at Kate before continuing, "Other than that, if you are a praying person, that wouldn't hurt. And Detective- don't go to the hospital tonight. You look exhausted. I need everyone at peak efficiency, and you need rest to be at that level."

Kate was nonplussed. "But sir, I..."

Sensing her protest, Gates added, "Don't make me have to make it an order, Detective."  
Kate knew not to push her luck with "Iron Gates". She let out a sigh, before responding, "Yes, sir. But may I ask to be notified if any developments occur overnight?"

"I think that will be fine, and one more thing...I look forward to hearing what your decision will be regarding the job with the AG's office...but I understand that this is neither the time nor the place." Gates responded, locking eyes with the junior officer.

"Agreed, and thank you, Sir. Good night." Kate said as she turned to go.

Kate Beckett took just a step before she froze, the fatigue of the day catching up with her. At that moment, it dawned on her what Gates had said. Turning back, she said, "Sir, did you say Markowitz? From the twenty-second? Danny Markowitz?"

Gates looked back to the junior officer, "Yes, that's correct."

Kate tried to keep her expression unchanged, not wanting to register any sense of shock.

"I take it you know him?" Gates inquired.

_Damn. So much for the poker face_. Kate thought to herself. But then again, Danny always got past her filters.

"Yes, sir. Good night." Kate stepped back from the office door before she clued in Gates as to just how shaken she was at this revelation.

Kate sat at her desk, willing the sudden rush of emotions to settle before she tried to make contact. She was slapped with pain, regret and sadness at the mention of this name from her past. There would be plenty of time to deal with this all, but with Ryan missing, other things took precedence. Especially with Castle recuperating.

_Castle_.

The thought of her Fiancé's name barraged her with a twinge of mixed emotions. She was happy now, and going to be married. Nothing from the past could interfere with that. She wouldn't let it. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and steeled herself for this confrontation before she went home. Damn Gates for not letting her go to the hospital. Briefly she debated just going, but thought better of it, not wanting to incur the wrath of the older woman if she were spotted. Deciding to get it over with, she rose and went to give report to Markowitz.

Daniel Markowitz was a handsome young man, tall, strong and blessed with strikingly bright blue eyes and golden brown hair in his trademark buzz cut. His days playing quarterback in college had afforded him with a strong, muscular build, but not overly so. His deep voice resounded from the small group of unis and detectives that stood around him, getting to know the new addition to the team. The voice filled her ears and sent tiny tremors down her spine. It was too much. Giving herself a mental shake, she was back, ready to get this over.

"Detective Markowitz, Captain Gates asked me to bring you and your team up to speed on Kevin Ryan. " Kate began, her voice and mannerism displaying nothing but the utmost professionalism.

Markowitz turned to meet the voice addressing him, and his jaw fell slack for a split second. "Beckett? Is it really you? It's been forever. I...I..."

Kate took the hesitation to take control of the situation. "Yes, Detective. It has been a long time. It's not really a good time to play catch up though. Captain Gates has asked me to assign you and your team on helping track down leads on Detective Ryan."

"It's former detective Ryan, right? Word has it he resigned after he shot a civilian." One of the junior detectives on Markowitz's team interjected.

Kate's eyes blazed with rage. "Simkins, that has no bearing, and frankly, Kevin Ryan is a member of my team, a brother to all in the precinct and you'd be damn lucky to tread very carefully on things you know little about."

Markowitz saw the confrontation and stepped in to de-escalate. "Detective, I assure you that we will remember that and will not let any mis-steps cloud the work at hand." He cast a pointed look to Simpkins, who had a sheepish look on his face.

He continued, "How about giving me the rundown on what you would like us to do? With that, Kate, remaining in control of her emotions, gave a very clinical report of what occurred, and the assignment for the team. Finishing up, she rose and left, preventing any non-work related conversation from the newly assigned Danny Markowitz.

All the way home, her mind worked to avoid the thought of the end of the day. She focused on Ryan and what could be done to find him. She would call Rick and get a chance to share what had transpired tonight.

Well, most of it, anyway.

* * *

Rick Castle was antsy. When he last spoke to his fiancée, Kate Beckett, she promised she would call him after talking with Capt. Gates and that she would be back before dinner. Now, dinner had long since passed and there was no sign, in person or by a call, from Kate. He was nervous, afraid that something had happened with Ryan. Castle felt helpless, there was so much that he felt he could contribute to figuring out what happened with his friend, and the twist of information, such as the bullets. Ryan's gun had not shot him, but a different gun, and so far nobody had any idea where to find it or the shooter. For his liking, there were far too many questions and no where near enough answers. This wouldn't help them find the story in all of this, that story that would figure out where Kevin Ryan was and how all this had begun.

And damn it, he still hadn't heard from Kate!

It was as if his thoughts were the tipping point for action. At that moment, the door to his room quietly slid open and shut. There before him stood Kate. "I'm disobeying a direct order for being here, and frankly, I don't care. Gates told me to go home, and I was, until I realized that home is wherever you are. So, here I am." Kate said as she timidly smiled and quickly made her way to his side, reaching down and drawing him in for a long soft kiss.

In the time since Kate had been away from the hospital, Rick had the rest of his lines removed. He really was doing much better. It was as if a button had been flipped, and Rick Castle was well on the road to recovery. Rick shifted carefully to the opposite side of the bed, motioning for Kate to come closer. Reaching down, she lowered the bed rail on the side closest to her, and began to climb in, seeking his warmth and comfort.

Finally able to be close to him, Kate turned and rested her head on his shoulder, her hand softly placed upon his chest, careful not to cause him any discomfort. It was pure bliss. Sheltered in each other's contact, Rick softly placed a kiss on her hairline, then asked "please, can you tell me what's wrong? What's happened to Ryan? "

Kate slid her eyes up slightly to make contact with his. It was a direct path to each other's soul. "I don't know. Espo located him, tracked him to a cabin where he had been staying, and he's just.… gone."

Castle closed his eyes in frustration. He said "what the hell has happened to him? There has to be something bigger. Something that as of yet we don't know enough about. "

Kate ran her hand gently across his collarbone, seeking to give comfort, where frankly there was none. "We'll find him - we won't stop. We have a challenge because IA is driving the shooting investigation, and we are only able to investigate freely where they say we can, which isn't much. They're freezing us out of a lot of the information, so it's taking us twice as long because we're having to find the same information out on our own, and without getting caught. "

Rick placed his hand on top of hers, gently squeezing for support. "It's just not right. IA is sending Ryan down for something he had nothing to do with. It's like they're using him for some agenda, for some unknown purpose. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but it just seems like there's something bigger here."

Kate laughed slightly at his choice of words, "You are a conspiracy theorist, but it seems like you might be making sense – well this time, at least. ", she added with a smile, but the smile didn't fully reach her eyes. Castle made note of that.

He decided to jump in, to find out what is dampening her spirit. "Kate, what else is there, it seems like you're holding something back. "

Kate paused for a moment before answering. Her first instinct was to brush it off and not say anything. However, if she learned nothing else from what just happened recently around their relationship, she learned not to keep secrets. "How do you deal with someone from your past, someone that has no chance of becoming part of your future, but yet you're tied to them?"

Castle bit down on the urge to speak out in anger. Was she really talking about a lover from her past? "Kate, what's happened? Who are you talking about? Is there someone… someone that you still have feelings for? "

It hit her just as he said it. She had not meant it that way – god. "Oh no, no – not that. There's a new detective at the precinct, he's… someone I know. I haven't seen him in a while. There's no romantic issue here, Castle- please know that I am completely in love with you. No, this is something else. It has to do with…history. "

Castle was more at ease, but not fully. He trusted Kate, but he was completely fascinated in this new development. Before Castle could question further, the conversation was abruptly stopped by the ringing of Kate's phone. Looking at him with an apologetic expression, she answered, "Beckett. Where? Okay, I can be there in 30."

As Kate ended the call, Rick looked at her and noted the solemn expression on her face. "What's happened?"

Kate let out a deep slow breath, then answered, "IA located one of the uniforms that has been missing since your shooting. He's dead. "

To be continued. Thanks for staying with the story!


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone! First off, a big thank you once again to everyone that has read and followed, favorited and reviewed. I am bowled over each time I get a review. I'm so glad that everyone seems to be enjoying this. In the last chapter, I promised twists and turns. Well, here's the first of what will be many, I'm sure, LOL! For those that are wondering where I'm going with this, please remember it's a long way to 50,000 words! All will be revealed. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the ride. I apologize for the shorter chapter this week, but time was very short and things were incredibly busy. If possible, and time permits, I will try to add another chapter this week. Fingers crossed!

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Chapter 7

Kate turned the corner, headed for the crime scene. It seemed odd that she wasn't greeted with a smile and a hot grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla. She smiled wistfully as the feeling of familiarity with how she met the man that would one day be her husband. Everything had been nearly lost, and now, the promise of that future continued seemed as if if would make it through the rough patch that had begun with a secret job offer and culminated with Castle's shooting.

Noting the expanse of yellow crime scene tape, she reached out and crossed that barrier, her personal feelings and concerns sliding to the back of her mind, the case at hand taking precedence. She had told Royce, her training partner once, that the dead deserved her full attention, because she was their voice - the only method to find answers to the mystery of why they died, and to offer the truth as some small fragment of closure for those affected by the person's death.

"What do we have here, Es...", she paused, the almost automatic expectation that her team would be there, fresh on her lips. She closed her eyes, to reboot, and give a mental shake to clear her thoughts "I mean, Evans? "

Evans straightened automatically, not used to the scrutiny of this detective. "The officer's wife discovered the body and called 911. It happened that Internal Affairs was arriving at his home to determine more information about his whereabouts, then. They are deferring the homicide investigation to us. Regarding the wife, it seems officer Michael's wife left him days before the shooting at the precinct. She came back to their residence to collect her things, thinking he would be at work, and found the body."

"OK, let me know when the sweep of the scene is finished and remind everyone that this is one of our brothers." Beckett looked around at the scene, pushing emotions further down than her throat, then continued, "Every thing gets double and triple checked. Fine tooth comb isn't good enough."

Evans slid his notepad back into his uniform shirt pocket as he supplied a crisp, "Yes, detective." The young uniformed officer quickly returned to the crime scene.

Kate located the M.E., Lanie Parish. It really wasn't difficult to find the medical examiner at a crime scene - they were usually hovering over or near the body. Lanie spotted her colleague and dear friend first, delivering the greeting, "Detective Beckett - I'm surprised to see you on this one. I would have thought that the IA's type A's would have been all over this one. What gives?"

Kate gave a slight smile at her friend's description of the most loathed department in the force. "Seems that they have deferred to us. They're so focused on Ryan, that they are letting clues drop left and right. Its pathetic. Espo is so determined to find Kevin, and we need to wrap up this and find him, so we can get to the heart of all this."

Lanie nodded in agreement, then continued with her scene assessment. "So, the victim here looks like he really pissed somebody off. Without even seeing his full torso, I can tell he has blunt force trauma to the head and arms."

"He was beaten to death?" Kate surmised from the information.

Lanie shrugged her shoulders, "Well it may have contributed, I'll know more when we open him up, but he also has a gunshot to the back of the head. My guess is that he was worked over for something, then shot to finish him off."

"Thanks, Lanie. You'll let me know what you find?" Kate asked, her voice full of gratitude.

"Girl, as if I wouldn't let you know. I'll be as quick as I can..."Lanie was interrupted in her reply.

"But you'll be..." Kate interrupted, only to be interrupted herself.

"Thorough, yes, Detective. I know the whole 'Fine tooth comb isn't good enough' technique." Lanie supplied as she gave a knowing smile to her friend. The small dig wasn't lost on Beckett, despite the intensity of the investigation.

* * *

Castle was restlessly and fruitlessly trying to take a nap. Everything in him was pushing him that something wasn't right. That feeling...he was no stranger to it. He and that feeling of unease were on a first name basis. His thoughts raced trying to put his thumb on exactly what could be causing it.

"Mr. Castle? I'm sure you remember me?" Came the voice from the doorway. Rick turned to find Special Investigator Stack. Despite the pleasant but professional tone, his body language belied his approach. He looked...irritated, maybe?

"Stack? Am I to assume that my shooting has garnered federal oversight?" Castle teased, knowing that wasn't the real reason for the visit.

"No, no. I was hoping that I could catch up with Detective Beckett. I thought that I would take a chance and see if she was here with you." Stack explained.

Hearing his fiancee's name, Castle allowed a moment to relish in the warmth that rushed through his veins. Love was an amazing thing. "Well, I'm not sure, but you're welcome to hang around and visit, or I can let her know you stopped by and have her contact you."

Stack paused before he answered. "Let her know I came by and have her call me. She should know my number, but here's my card, just in case."

Castle took the card, his eyes drawn to the shiny guilded logo. "Have a good day," he said to the retreating form.

Stack paused, and Castle's curiosity was piqued as he watched the lawman close the door and return back to his bedside, sliding a chair over and sitting near the author's bedside.

"She's gonna refuse the job, isn't she?" Stack asked directly.

Castle was a little taken aback at the directness. "She hasn't contacted you? Well, no matter what her answer is, I don't speak for Kate. She is well-able to speak for herself."

"I get that. But hear me out for a minute. Tell her whatever it takes to get her to take the job, please? She is made for this job. The job is made for her. I know this, because I see a little bit of myself in her, especially when she is in dogged pursuit of the truth. I've only seen her in action a small bit of time, but I'm guessing she's always that intense, right?"

Castle gave a small knowing smile, then answered,"Well, we agree on that part, at least, she is all focused and fury. But, like I said, it's her decision to make, I support her no matter what, but I will never manipulate her into making a decision."

Stack sat quietly for a moment, and Castle wondered if he was trying to figure out how much of his hand to reveal. He stared into Rick Castle's eyes, and it felt as if the man were trying to plant deeper meaning of what he was about to say into his mind.

"There are many things afoot that I cannot speak of, but I know that Kate Beckett can be a valuable asset to uncover corruption... even places that no one knows it exists." Stack paused for a breath, and then said, "I'm here to lay it all on the line, if need be. The fact that Kate Beckett hasn't taken this job yet tells me she's not planning to. I need to have her onboard."

Stack leaned forward in the chair, resting his arms on his knees, as he continued, "I can't say much more than this, except to say that there is so much more going on, so much hidden away, and she can be the key to unlock it. Please, talk to her. If nothing else, encourage her to talk to me."

Castle studied Stack's determined expression, took a moment before he replied, "Like I said, I can't and I won't make her do anything, and frankly, I'm not sure she should even do this, no matter how much you try to plead. But, I will keep my promise and tell her you came by and that you need to speak with her. I give you my word."

Stack rose from his seat, resigned to the fact that he would make no more headway. "I guess that's all I can ask. Thank you for your time." Saying no more, the man left the room and was gone.

Richard Castle suddenly had a lot more on his mind then he had just minutes prior. He replayed the conversation that he just had with agent Stack, and each time he did, he got a little more disconcerted. He wasn't angry about the thought that Kate might be holding something back from him. On the contrary, he could see into her heart when she said that she had made her mind up. His anger was over the audacity that this new job, and the people behind it, thought that they could insinuate their way into their lives and force him to make her do something she'd already decided against.

But, something in the back of his mind, in the deep recesses of an area previously put to rest, a small alarm was sounding. And the thought terrified him. He played Stack's words over again and again in his mind. Stack mentioned that Kate was the key to unlock things that were hidden. And that she was the way to do it.

Did this mean what he thought?

That realization made his entire inner being shudder in fear for the woman he loved. He had that need to protect her, to be near her and defend her. It was so great, he could not fight it, didn't want to fight it. He slid back the covers of his bed and gently helped himself to a standing position.

He had to find her.

* * *

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you again to everyone who's read and reviewed and shown the love for this story! As promised, I was able to do a little more writing this week. So, without further ado, I present another chapter! Things have been so intense and serious, I wanted to even it out a little bit with some levity and genuine Caskett goodness! I hope you like it, and review! :-)_

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Chapter 8

Kate slid tiredly through the door of the loft. She was tired. Frustrated and tired. The time at the crime scene did nothing to advance the cause of finding out what happened to Ryan. The body of police officer Ronald Wilkins had been taken back to the morgue, where Lanie would work to find more clues during the autopsy in the morning. The house appeared to be a dumping place, the crime occurred somewhere else. So, trace evidence didn't appear to have everything related to the case, but they would keep looking.

Kate staggered into the kitchen to make herself a piece of toast and some juice. She should be hungry, but really wasn't. What she was was feeling a little guilty for not going to be with Castle at the hospital. The poor guy, he was stuck there all day, by himself. Martha had to teach some classes that she had set up previously and Alexis was a little under the weather, and staying in her dorm.

Swatting at the front of the toaster, she set it to heat the bread as she stood there almost in a near fugue state. At that moment, she heard noise from within the loft. No one should be there, so this set her on edge. Slipping her gun from out of the back of her waistband, Kate walked around listening for the source of the noise. Silently, she padded up one step at a time, in search of the source of the bumping noise that seemed to come from upstairs, toast and juice forgotten.

She heard noises coming from the master bedroom - Castle's room. Who the hell would be going into Castle's home? Well, she was about to find out.

Kate crept silently into the bedroom. Her gun drawn up to her shoulder, She stepped around the doorway and into the room. What she saw shocked and amused her.

"Castle? What the hell you doing here? How did you get…"

Castle was bent over in his closet trying to get a pair of shoes out of the back. He was wearing his hospital gown. And nothing else. Which meant that his bare backside was up in the air, giving quite the show to his detective fiancée. At the sound of her voice he stood up quickly, making direct contact with the solid metal clothing rail, a dull thud filled the closet.

"Ah, dammit, that hurt! " Castle said as he rubbed the back of his head, a small knot beginning to form. "Kate? What are you doing here?"

Despite being amused at seeing her fiancé's bare ass literally swinging in the wind, and then seeing him pull a move worthy of the Three Stooges, Kate was upset at his appearance in the loft. "I should be the one asking you that question, Rick. Why are you out of the hospital? I know they didn't release you. What's going on?"

"Kate, don't be angry. I can explain, if you'll just give me a moment…", Rick began to plead his case, hoping to throw himself on her mercy.

Kate knew she should be angry; hell, she should be furious. But the sight of Rick Castle, standing there literally with his butt showing, looking like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, she couldn't hold it in. She laid her gun down on the dresser and walked to the closet door, as laughter began to bubble and soon reached her mouth and came out in a contagious belly laugh. It felt good.

Castle steeled himself, his expression frozen in a cringe, bracing for impact. It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't going to yell at him. That she was actually laughing – with him, he hoped more than at him-although he doubted it. In a moment, a large, brilliant smile filled his face. Seeing her smile, knowing she was here, ok, made all the pain of sneaking out of the hospital, hailing a cab while praying he wouldn't be arrested on an indecent exposure charge- praying none of his neighbors posted his getup online- worth it. Reaching out to her, he brushed her cheek, his thumb stroking slowly to show his affection.

In a moment, she was in his arms, their lips drawn together as if in a magnetic pull. The kiss was...magical. Lips and tongues caressing, seeking entrance in a familiar dance. They both felt that perfect thrill run in their veins, and it would be a moment before they would be unable to stop, their passion too great. In complete sync, they both slowed the kiss and ended it, with Kate resting her head on his shoulder.

"Let's get you to the bed." Kate offered, worried he had over done things. She sat down beside him on the bed after he reclined back onto the mattress.

Castle was feeling downright frisky, too bad he could only tease, as he said, "Well, that's a great idea! C'mere, Detective, I'm turning myself in. Be gentile, officer." He held up his hands, awaiting handcuffs.

"Funny, Castle. But I don't want to risk re-injuring you. I intend to keep you busy for an entire weekend, the moment you are cleared." She teased, letting the moment hang, relishing his mood. Then common sense slipped back in, "Speaking of which, we need to get you to the hospital. I am betting they have called the police, looking for you, by now."

Castle made a face to show his displeasure. "Kill joy."

Kate was amused at his display, so she decided to tease a bit. "Richard Castle, world-renowned author of more than two dozen murder-mystery novels, is afraid of a hospital."

He was slightly amused. "Well, if you must know, I left because I needed to find you."

Kate was surprised at the remark. "You did? Why, not that I don't love to see you, too."  
Castle sobered as he answered, "well, because you had a visitor… Agent Stack." Seeing her start to bristle, he quickly added "I didn't tell him anything, except that I would tell you he wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. He seems pretty determined, Kate. I'm not so sure he's going to take no for an answer. "

Kate turned her eyes back in his direction, to look at him, and replied, "Well, he better get used to taking no for an answer, because I've already made up my mind. He'll just have to get used to disappointment. "

Castle could hardly believe the words that were coming out of his mouth as he heard his own voice say, "At least you can hear him out, Kate? There may be something else that he has to tell you. It didn't seem like the usual sell for a new employer to make. He seemed a little desperate. He sounded like maybe he was insinuating that there was something only you could do. I don't know, but the way he was speaking...Kate...it made me start thinking...what if...what if he was talking about Bracken?"

Kate waited a moment, awaiting the usual rush of anxious anger, and to her surprise, it did not come. The walls really had come down. But her curiosity was piqued, none-the-less. "Message received. I'll talk to him, and at least listen to what he's trying to say."

"Thank you. And I have to say, I'm very happy with your response – it seems like you've changed, become more grounded. It's nice. I think you'll not regret listening, at least to have a chance to hear what he has to say."

Kate Beckett was shocked. She didn't believe her own ears, "Richard Castle, look at you trying to look on the other side. I'm impressed."

Rick smirked at her comment, "Just don't get too used to it. I made him a promise, and I can now count that as complete. I just didn't want it on my conscience that I didn't try to say something else. It's not my place to make you do anything. Besides, if he's done this just to try and convince you to take a job, we're gonna talk."

Kate looked at him again in surprise, "Wow! Thank you...it means a lot that you have my back."

Castle smiled warmly, love in his eyes that shone deeply through his expression as he looked at her and with a soft, pleasing tone, replied, "Always."

* * *

To be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

Hi all! Sorry for the delay getting this chapter posted. Thanks to all that have reviewed, favorited and followed my tale. I hope you are all in for the duration! :) I admit I laughed out loud at some of the reviews for chapter 8, and was really thrilled at all the terribly kind and thoughtful reviews that have been posted so far. I can't tell you what it means that you all like the story. There's a lot of ground covered in this chapter, so sit back and be sure to fasten your seat belts!

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Chapter 9

Javier Esposito hated politics, run around, and waiting. Not necessarily in that order. And in what was a trifecta of undesirable situations, he was encountering all three at the same time. He hated being constantly reminded that he was there as a guest, and had no real jurisdiction. It was if he was watching a wreck happening in slow motion, and there he was, unable to do anything but stand there and wave his arms, hoping that somebody would notice. For about the seventh time today, he made recommendations on how best to focus their search. Each time he was not politely reminded "thanks, but no thanks, we'll do things our way, because that's the way we always do them". And of course, up to now, their fruitless search has continued.

Deputy Sheriff Adam Miller was at best, second runner up at a twisted Barney Fife contest. Standing six foot, five inches, rail thin with a thin mustache, he possessed a squeaky voice like a worn door hinge. He took his job seriously, too seriously. He never strayed from the rules and never gave an inch. Damn, if it didn't irritate Javi. He'd had enough. Pulling out his phone, Javi dialed the Captain. At her answer, he replied, "Sir, I am getting nowhere here. They are sticking to standard procedure for a missing child, not for an abduction of an adult."

"Have you begun to check security footage?" Gates queried.

Letting out a deep breath, Javi answered, "No, sir. I tried, but the officer in charge, Deputy Miller, threatened at arrest me for interfering in an investigation."

"What?" Gates replied in surprise. "Stay tuned, Detective. I am going to get in touch with the State Police, and see if they can help. If not, I'll get the federal level involved!" She hung up with no other response. Javi almost felt sorry for Miller. Almost.

* * *

Out of the fog of his drug haze Kevin Ryan was the most awake that he was in hours. Apparently, somebody forgot to give him his regular dose of "happy juice", and he was beginning to wake up. He tried to stretch his muscles, and God they were sore. He lay there for long moments, trying to remember what happened. He knew that he had been drugged and beaten. He knew that he had been here a while, from the stubble that had turned long and scratchy on his face, from lack of shaving. Ryan lay there for what seemed ages, listening, but he heard nothing. He heard no sound, and that damn, infernal clock was still at 12 o'clock, flashing over and over from lack of power. Thinking that he had really nothing to lose, as he would surely die if he continued to lay there and be pumped full of drugs and beaten, he quietly and slowly rolled himself over on the mat, with great pain and stiffness. Suppressing the urge to groan in pain, he was eventually able to crawl towards the door, pulling himself up to a standing position with quite a bit of a difficulty. Reaching the doorknob, he slowly, quietly turned the knob, expecting it to be locked. It wasn't. Ryan decided it was now or never. Pushing the door open in infinitesimally slow motion, he soon had it open enough to peek out and see what he was about to face. Bracing his body for more impact, he quietly poked his head out and looked around the door.

* * *

Medical examiner Lanie Parish decided that waiting till tomorrow to begin the autopsy of Ronald Wilkins wasn't the best use of time, considering her friend and the partner of her on-again off-again boyfriend, Javi Esposito, was still out there missing. As she began the examination of the dead police officer, it was apparent he had been beaten brutally. His legs were broken, nearly all of his fingers and wrists on both sides were also broken, and he had signs of being burned with cigarettes. He also been beaten and whipped across the mid section with some long hard object, so much so that his liver was actually damaged and had been bleeding from the injury. The end came with a bullet to the head. However, he had so much internal bleeding from the beatings, he probably would not have lasted long without being shot, anyway. As she began her documentation of her findings, she heard a noise and looked up from the autopsy table. "Can I help you? It's pretty late, you're not supposed to be here now."

"Dr. Parrish. Thank you, but it seems your services are no longer needed on this case." Came the short, to the point response from behind her. Turning fully, Lanie noticed Agent Stark, standing with another man, who seemed familiar. Every fiber of her being was singing in alertness. This was wrong, she could sense something bad was about to happen.

"I wouldn't try to make a call, this is pretty straightforward." Stark said in a very clipped tone. "I'm going to take the body, and you're going to let me, because you really don't have any say."

"Excuse me, Agent, but I don't see any paperwork." Lanie quipped, being slightly irritated at the man's forward nature.

Stark gave a straight, expressionless reply, "That is none of your concern. I have jurisdiction over this case, and we will be going now." He gave a nod to his partner, who began to collect the body.

Lanie, feeling the full weight of her duty and obligation to protect the body, stepped in front of the man, blocking his progress. Her last sight was of Stark holding her arms from in front of her, and at that moment, she felt a burning sensation in the side of her neck, the fire within, spreading throughout her body, and then…nothing.

* * *

Kate Beckett was still tired from the night activities, which consisted of having Castle's personal physician check him over, and determine that if he took it easy, he would not have to go back to the hospital. After spending a few hours with him in bed, just being near him, she was not able to sleep for long, as her mind kept reminding her of all of the things that happened, and she was grateful for him to still be alive. It was too much for her to feel, still everything was so raw, a little too close to reality. When the alarm sounded, she knew that she really wasn't going to get to sleep, and decided to go ahead and get up, heading to the precinct, knowing that Lanie was going to be starting early on the autopsy for Officer Wilkins.

"Well, detective, we have to stop meeting like this. We could resolve this by you taking the offer and doing more good with the Attorney General's office. I seem to recall you stating that you wanted to do things on a bigger stage." Freeman said, an air of confidence in his tone.

Kate looked up from her cup of coffee at the man, attired in a three piece grey suit, seemingly a standard government-issue. "Deputy Freeman, to what do I owe the honor? Surely your hire rate isn't so low that another trip to New York was merited?" She asked, thinly veiled sarcasm completely in place.

Freeman refused to bite. "I am here on a request from your Captain. Seems you've lost a detective, and the local police up in the mountains aren't much help."

"Ah, well then, welcome and Captain Gates' office is just over there." Kate directed in her reply, then added, "Thank you, for the help."

"Well, while I am here, I wanted to follow up on the officers that were involved in the original incident. Seems that Internal Affairs also has requested assistance. You all must have a coupon for buy one get one free." Freeman attempted humor, failing miserably.

Hiding a groan at the dry humor, Kate queried, "IA pinged you, too? For a cop killing?"

"No, because the second officer was a fake. Seems the twelfth was infiltrated. I am having Officer Wilkins' body transferred for more in-depth analysis. But I'll say no more." Freeman informed. Kate's brow furrowed. This just didn't make sense. She observed the federal lawman leave her desk and glide over to the doorway of her commanding officer.

At that moment, Kate's cell phone rang. "Beckett."

"Beckett, it's Karpowsky. Though you should know, Dr. Parrish was drugged. I found her on the floor of the morgue when I came in to check on my case."

Kate was on alert and moving to the elevator. "Is she ok?"

"She's awake. Dr. Perlmutter checked her out and is drawing blood to see what she was drugged with." Karposky responded.

"I'm on my way down. Is she going to go to the hospital?" Kate inquired.

"She refused. See you in a bit." With that, Karpowsky ended the call.

Kate pushed through the doors of the morgue in record time. Looking around quickly, she found the small group assembled around Lanie Parish. Lanie was sitting in a chair, looking slightly dazed, but none the worse for wear. Kate was relieved. "Lanie, isn't there an easier ways to get attention?"

Lanie looked up at her with a tired smile, "Beckett, you could have said stuff all day and not gone there. I feel like crap. But, as much as I would like to be the center of attention, we got bigger problems. The body is gone."

Kate was stunned, "What? What body?"

"Officer Wilkins. Kate, the goons that took him, you know them. One of them was Agent Stark."

Kate was full of surprise. What the hell is going on?

* * *

"Well, Detective Beckett, care to tell me what happened to the body?" Gates asked, her anger and frustration thinly hidden in her voice.

Looking over, Kate saw the less hidden anger on the face of Deputy Freeman. He was pissed. "I'm not sure, Sir, but we are treating the morgue as a crime scene. CSU is dusting for prints and we are also checking video, too. We should have more soon."

Pulling her glasses from her face, Gates looked sternly at Beckett, "See that you do, Detective. "

Freeman looked at Kate in disdain. "Detective Beckett, you have two hours. If you don't have anything substantial by then, my agents are going to be crawling all over this precinct. "

Ignoring his threats, Kate looked at Captain Gates and replied, "Sir, I'll have something for you as soon as possible. I am checking on information that Dr. Parrish provided, but with her being drugged and out, we can't know how reliable she is at this point. Video will help verify." She supplied, and left at Gates' nod.

Kate Beckett may have changed her mind about working in DC, but she knew that there was something deeper going on. Her spidey sense was tingling, for sure, and she knew that the best way to tackle this was to get in touch with Stark. She didn't know him well, but she swore she could feel a professional connection with Stark. He was a straight shooter, and if he took the body, there must have been a good reason. She knew that she was certain there had to be more than met the eye, but what that was, was the million dollar question. And what did this have to do with Ryan?

* * *

To be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

Hi all! Again, thanks so much for the follows, likes and reviews. It is like an "Atta girl!" with each one. :) This chapter's a little different, as it is mostly from the other side of the fence (there is a little strong language in the chapter, too). The chapter is the starting point where the story hopefully starts to tie together and you can start to see where it's going. But, don't worry, I'm not giving all away, just yet! I mean, we're probably just around the halfway point, after all! ;) Anyway, please read, review and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Ten

Deputy District Attorney Anthony Freedman was a secretive individual, which, for his line of work, was both a job requirement and a condition of employment. However, he took it to the next level. If there were an olympic category for withholding information and keeping secrets, this man would hold the gold medal every year, as well as the olympic and world records. However, even he was finding it difficult to maintain his composure as he dialed the phone, to provide his update. Anger ebbed through his veins at the person or persons that he now knew were working against him. He had his suspicions in the past, but it was confirmed from the statement of the medical examiner, who had the luck not to die when drugged. What the hell was he going to say? Looking down at the secure phone number, he sighed, hit the send button and awaited the outcome.

It took three long rings before he was greeted with a gruff male voice. "I heard about the missing body. What the hell is going on, Freedman? Are you trying to screw us all over?"

Damn, he knew. "No, Senator. It seems that we have competition, from within. I have to deal with a loose thread before it causes more problems, that's all." Freedman replied, begging his voice to sound more confident than he felt.

"See that you do. I thought I could count on you, especially since you seem so interested in keeping your superiors from learning about your side hobbies in Columbia." The man reminded Freedman.

"Of course I am interested. I am in this fully. You don't have to keep threatening me, Bracken." Freedman supplied, anger once again beginning to course through his veins. He hated this man, and himself, for being so stupid to get caught funding drug running in Central and South America.

A sour, bitter half laugh came through the phone receiver. "Well, you see, Freedman, I'm beginning to wonder about that. I told you to get that bitch to DC, and so far you've failed. You were supposed to take out that idiot writer to help convince her to leave, and that failed, too. In fact, it seems that not only did that fail, but you actually lost ground there. Now you manage to lose the shooter's body. So, tell me the part about how I can trust you to get the job done, again, because I am not seeing it here."

"Now, wait a minute..." Freedman began, before being cut off by the curt interruption of Bracken. "No, you shut the hell up and listen to me. You have one last chance to redeem yourself. In the meantime, I am bringing up reinforcements to get this little clusterfuck back on track." Bracken explained to the man, disdain dripping as he spoke.

"Bracken, I just don't understand why the need to grind this woman into the ground. From what I know, it sounded like you two were at an impasse, where you were keeping each other in check. Why the need to mess with that?" Freedman, interest brewing at the situation, decided to test his luck and just ask.

Taking a deep breath, Bracken let it out into the receiver, the sound of rushing air filling the Deputy's ear. He paused, then spoke, "Not that I owe you an answer, but frankly, I am just seeking to be proactive. The stalemate will not stay that way forever. One day, Beckett is going to see something that pushes her interest, or some chain of events will occur to set all this again into motion, and then it'll all start again. I can't let that happen, and I've worked too hard, given up too much to let the idiocy of three dead, greedy cops come back to haunt me in the form of Johanna Beckett's daughter, yet again."

Freedman was surprised at the flow of honesty that came from the man, as if his filter had been turned off. Just as quickly, however, if was back firmly in place. "But, there is no room for incompetence. This is your last shot. You screw up and your side profession ends up as the opening story on every network and internet news spot within hours."

Freedman had no time to respond, as the call abruptly ended, and he was left standing there for a moment, before the enormity of what the man just stated hit him. Freedman felt a brief rush of panic hit his body for a moment, before he was able to tamp it back down. He was up against a wall, and had to act fast. First on the agenda, was to take care of the thorn in his side - the person that had turned against him and he had to take care of this quickly, before more hit the fan.

Once again hitting a speed number on his phone, he heard another, less threatening voice on the other end. He began speaking immediately to one of his associates, "Belkin, what have you learned about where the body was taken?"

"Well, as you know, Stark got the jump on us. I was able to isolate the time widow that he took the body, then correlated the traffic cameras from around the morgue to determine that they were in a white cargo van. I tracked them away from the morgue to up until the docks on the East River, but lost them there. I went to the area, and took a look around. There are warehouses and docks there. My guess is that they are holed up in one of the warehouses, with some form of refrigeration. I am trying to get more information on the buildings with large refrigeration units." The man, named Belkin informed.

Freedman replied sternly, "We have to find them. I know you have been busy, but we need to amp up the efforts. Classify them as wanted, and circulate their information."

Belkin immediately asked, "What charge should I list? There has to be a charge significant enough to get help."

"Belkin, you are wanted for questioning in the shooting, as well, so stay low. Just send this in and be sure to use the encryption I gave you. As for the charge, make it conspiracy to commit murder." Freedman hung up promptly, this setting the next phase in motion.

* * *

Stark appeared at Beckett's desk as if stepping from out of the ether. Kate did not act as if she didn't see the Agent, but inwardly, she was surprised. Never looking up at the man fully, she commented, "Agent Stark, you're back? To what do we owe this visit?"

"I need to talk to you." Stark said plainly.

Sensing this was serious, she replied, "Lets go to interrogation." She rose, heading to interrogation room 1, Stark close on her heels.

Flipping on the light as she entered, Stark took a seat while she sat on the edge of the table, one leg drawn up. Even in this relaxed pose, Kate still exuded authority, power. This really was her place, her home. "You wanted to talk, so talk."

Stark wasted no time beating around the bush. "You aren't safe." Seeing the start of her protest, he shut her down. "Hear me out. Castle's shooting was part of a larger plan. You are part of a bigger plan, and there is significant pressure to get you to DC."

"So you didn't want me for my skill set? I'm shocked." Kate teased, knowing there was more than met the eye, and decided to press her luck.

"Beckett, I'm sorry. I see the makings in you for a great agent- that part is true, but it seems there are bigger motivating factors at hand. I am conducting my own investigation, as it seems that there are higher ups that may be involved." The agent explained.

Kate knew instinctively what he meant. "You think Freedman's in on it."

Stark was impressed. "Yes. And I think you already suspected that, too."

Continuing that thought, Kate added, "And I also suspect that you were involved in Wilkins' body disappearing from the morgue, which I'm sure you knew Lanie would report."

"Which I also noted that you didn't report." Stark added.

"I indicated that I was following up and would report more, so that isn't accurate, just yet." Kate defended, then continued, "Why did you do that, by the way?"

Stark rested back in the seat, feeling the full weight of Kate Beckett's stare upon him. "Think about it. I learned that Freedman was coming to escort the body back to DC, playing the fed card. If he got Wilkins' body, nothing would have ever reached the light of day. I have kept the chain of custody intact, though. I have hidden a signed transport form in Dr. Parrish's desk, and the body has been under federal watch every minute since we took possession."

Thank god for small favors, Kate thought, as she said, "So, what now, then? Will we get any results? And what is the connection between Wilkins and this bigger picture conspiracy?" Before he could answer, it snapped into place for her. "The plot to get me to DC."

"Now you get it." Stark said, leaning forward to make stronger eye contact.

Kate's mental wheels were turning. "This just doesn't make sense. I mean, why get me to DC? Who benefits from that?"

Thinking it preposterous at first, but it slapped her in the face in an instant, she added, "This has Bracken written all over it."

Stark was surprised, "Bracken? Senator William Bracken?"

Kate nodded. "I'm sure that you know my history regarding my Mom's death. Long story short, Bracken was the ADA in New York, and was involved with the whole thing by extorting money from the cops that were running a scam. He sent a hit man to kill my mom, and then later on, another to kill me."

"Why?" Stark asked, confused as to the reason.

"Greed, when you cut to the chase." Kate added. She didn't trust Stark well enough to give more information than what was already shared.

"There are still so many questions, assuming that this is actually what's happening. Proving it will be another challenge." Stark stated, as he slid forward in the seat. "Are your folks able to be trusted?" He asked.

"Yes, but they are being pulled in different directions- Javi is searching for Ryan, then there's Castle." Kate catalogued her team.

"Speaking of Castle, I would recommend not telling him about what we have discussed." Stark laid out his case, only to be stopped by Beckett.

"No. I have already been down that road. That almost cost my relationship with Castle. That's not an option, even more so when you tell me that his shooting may have been related." Kate responded, her hackles raised at the suggestion of deception.

"Alright, I can respect that. My concern is that perhaps you weigh how much to tell him that he should know, versus how much to hold back, to protect him." Stark responded, carefully.

Kate did not respond. She took in what he said, and he could not read her expression. Standing, he rose and walked to the door. Stopping before he exited, he added, "I trust your discretion that I wasn't here, and also that you'll exercise good judgement in what you share with your fiancé. Keeping him informed doesn't mean that you have to tell him everything." At that, he silently slipped out the door and from the precinct, unnoticed.

Kate sat there a moment, thinking about what had just transpired. She felt that familiar, sick feeling that had not been experienced in nearly a year. Back then, it would have pulled her in and she would have been helpless to resist. Now, she had had victory over the players in this twisted rabbit hole, and was able to resist. Add that she had the love and support of a wonderful man in Richard Castle, and she was certain that hope was alive and anything was possible- including bringing Bracken down without getting pulled in herself. Feeling the strength and love in that thought, she rose and exited the interrogation room, turning off the lights as she left.

She never saw Rick watching the entire conversation from behind the glass, nor did she feel the rise in concern rolling from off him as he sat there, a witness to Stark's presentation and the idea that Bracken would once again interfere with their lives. Castle sat there quietly, his thoughts racing in competition with his nerves. He had been stir crazy at home, and with promises of sitting in a wheelchair, managed to finagle a chauffeured visit to the precinct, in order to see everyone, and in particular, Kate. Yes, he saw her each morning and night, but he longed to see her at work, in her element. Now he wasn't so sure that it had been a good idea.

Deciding to leave before seeing Kate, he slowly pushed back with his foot, rolling back out of the door and turned around to leave. However, a quick exit was not to be as he was now face to face with his fiancée, Kate Beckett.

"Rick? How...how did you get here?" Kate asked, her surprise apparent on her face.

Castle was conflicted. He felt like he had just been caught spying, and also felt anxious to see how she was going to play things. The warring thoughts left an awkward, pregnant pause before his reply.

"Kate, we need to talk."

* * *

To be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for your patience! Work has kept me pretty busy lately. I may not make the date cutoff for the ficathon, but I will finish this story, regardless!

Here we go!

Chapter Eleven

Kate was taken by surprise when she came upon Rick in the precinct. Her lightness at seeing him was not as great upon seeing the look on his face. It confused her. His eyes didn't hold hurt, pain or anger. They held...anxiousness, uncertainty. Kate swore right then that as long as she lived, she would move heaven and earth to keep from seeing that in his eyes again, directed towards her.

Seeing he was in no state to go elsewhere, she stepped back, granting him access to the interrogation room. Flipping the lights back on, she let the door close behind them. Kate wanted to help him, but her nervousness prevented her from doing so. She looked around the room, and had to decide where to sit. Rather than sitting across from him, she took the chair near him, to be able to be close to him. No words were spoken immediately, eye contact wasn't made right away. Kate filled with a deep concern, he was not his normal self. If he were mad, shouldn't he be yelling, trying to talk to her at least? She couldn't make sense of it all, as he sat there, not engaging right away.

Rick had the classic internal struggle going on, in a big way. He wanted to yell at Kate to not shut him out, to grab ahold of her and make her open up to him. He also wanted to pull her into his arms, and hold her until she was ready to talk. The latter made him take a second look into her soul. He saw the nervousness, the trepidation within her. It made his heart skip a beat. He needed to connect with her once again, to share his strength. He took her hand and held it within his, which caused her to almost cry out in happiness. If he still wanted contact, then all wasn't lost. She tried to journey on, seeking out more information as to the visit.

"Castle, as much as I'm happy to see you feeling well enough to visit, I don't want you to overdo things." Kate advised, though secretly thrilled he was there. Castle just smiled, a warmth in his face, not quite spilling into his eyes. He was struggling with disappointment, trying to not let it show.

Feeling like he needed to jump in, he spoke, "Have you learned anything about Kevin and the shooting?"

Kate looked him in the eyes, and squeezed his hand as she related the involvement of Freedman in the twisted game that Bracken was playing to get her to DC, for what she believed to be so that he could kill her. She gauged his response before continuing with the details. She shared with him how his shooting was all part of the plan to disassociate her with enough ties to get her to take the job. Looking at Rick's face, she could not get a good read on his expression. "You don't seem surprised." It then hit her. "How did you know?"

Castle called upon his best poker face. "I was behind the mirror for most of your talk with Stark."

"So you knew. Why didn't you say something?" Kate asked, her concern rising.

"Kate, there wasn't time, you know that. Besides, I was hoping that you would tell me the full story. You did, which I must admit makes me so very happy that you trusted me...trusted us." Castle explained.

"What would you have done if I hadn't?" Kate queried, her anger poising right on the edge.

Rick knew to tread lightly. He wasn't trying to upset her or force an argument. He was happy she had broke through the wall of hiding things from him, that was all he meant. So, he just said so. "I wouldn't know. My fiancée is in full communication with me. We have no secrets, and there is no reason or doubt that won't continue."  
Kate sat there for a moment, studying his expression, looking for more. After a moment, her expression softened, and she broke into a smile. "I love you, Rick."

"I love you, too." Rick replied, taking her hand and kissing her palm. Kate's heart sped up in anticipation, love again filling her being. "That's not gonna change, except to be stronger tomorrow than it is today."

"So, we're good?" she asked, causing Castle to smile. "More than good." Kate's smile shone brightly, canceling out any residual doubt or worry.

"We are, but not just because of this. We are good because we share things, we don't have any secrets...and we love and respect each other- thank you for not trying to hide this from me, by the way." Rick said as he gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it.

Javier Esposito was pissed. Good and pissed. His partner had been missing for days now. Despite the search that fumble foot the deputy coordinated, there were no new leads, and he was inching closer and closer to getting to know what the inside of the local jail cell looked like, since he and the deputy continued to butt heads in the search to find Ryan. Several members of the twelfth came up, friends of Kevin's, not involved in the investigation to be restricted in activity by IA, all wanting to find their brother. Each of them were either turned away, or directed to less productive tasks, like making copies or even passing out food to searchers. It was as if Deputy fumble foot was trying not to find his partner. At that moment, Javi had clarity-that was exactly what was happening. How the hell hadn't he caught on quicker?

Javi walked away from the larger group of searchers, hoping for some quiet to make a call. He had friends in the military and law enforcement in other departments than just the NYPD. Mentally kicking himself, he waited as the line rang. "State Police, how may I direct your call?" The voice answering on the other end of the call beckoned.

"I'd like to speak to investigator Tommy Vidal, please." Javi replied, knowing he was about to rain down all manner of hell on one Deputy Fumblefoot. And he was OK with that.

Kevin Ryan pulled himself back to his feet for who knows how many times. Hours, days of being kicked, beaten and drugged for no apparent reason had weighed heavily upon him. He didn't know much about where he was, but he knew that if he stayed another day there, he would probably only leave in a body bag.

Kevin hugged the wall down the long hallway and up the steps, practically crawling up each step, begging, praying that the steps wouldn't creak, giving him away. Every muscle in his body was on fire, his lungs felt like they were going to pop, but the pain helped him, in a way. The pain was a constant, but it kept him alert, focused. Finally at the top of the steps, he stopped and while crawling on the floor, looked around for signs of anyone to stop him. He saw a dingy, brown sofa. Despite the circumstances, his mind went back to the conversation with Javi about the sofa in his apartment that his work partner loved-until he learned he got it from a street corner. No matter how he liked to consider reclaiming furniture, the dingy, ugly brown sofa with faded orange flowers nearly set him off of the idea altogether.

Moving quietly, Kevin came closer to the sofa. He spotted a couple of feet hanging over the armrest, the sound of deep, ragged snoring pouring from the sleeping man on the sofa. This was going to be tricky. Ryan prayed quietly that the man was a sound sleeper.

Taking more looks around the room, he saw no one else. Listening, he heard no sound of footsteps or movement in any way, save for the raucous snoring rumble that steadily poured from the sofa's only occupant. Ryan knew he would be no good trying for quiet and balanced, so he opted for crawling to the door and then pulling himself up as he exited. Kevin stealthily crawled to get to the door. Moments, heartbeats passed and it seemed as it he would take a week to go six feet to the door.

Covered in sweat, Kevin Ryan used the doorknob to pull himself upright. He desperately prayed for no one to come in; he couldn't hear anything, the heart beat in his ears drowning out any other sounds. He glanced back at the man asleep on the sofa, gun on the coffee table in front of him. Slowly, he twisted the door knob, looked back at the sleeping man after the door gave a slight squeak. His pulse, which he thought couldn't beat any faster, actually increased in speed. He could actually feel his heart pounding against the wall of his chest. If he were caught, he would surely die. He was not going to leave his wife and their unborn child, but he was not going to just lie in that basement and die, either. He had to make it home. And to do that, he had to get out of this building.

Kevin Ryan did the hardest thing he had ever done - walk out the front door completely defenseless, weak and injured, not having the slightest idea where safety was located.

The first thing that he found was that he was nearly blind from the sunlight. It had seemed so long since he had been exposed to the sun, that too much light flooded his pupils, at first. He was on a porch, of a sort. Kevin pushed forward, the items on the porch appearing to be blurry, fuzzy and in some cases, he was unable to fully identify objects. Hitting what seemed to be a screen door, he tried to not allow it to squeak as he pushed through it and slid down the two steps to the ground in a less than graceful thud. Remarkably, he did not let go of the door, and he slid it back to the frame quietly. He then realized that his ankle was injured. He could feel the swelling begin, and the pain increasing with each beat of his heart. On the positive side, his eyes had more adjusted to the light. Instinct told him to get to cover. Looking around, he decided to slip over to the side of the house out of sight from the front of the house until he could decide where to go next.

Looking around, he realized that he was in a wooded area...a heavily wooded area...in the mountains...injured and alone. What the hell had he been thinking? He could just disappear out here and no one might ever know what happened to him. That thought emboldened him. Kevin hobbled away from the side of the house and into the woods. The small dirt path soon wore away in size and disappeared altogether. He was still close enough to the house that he could hear the rumble of the pickup truck as it slid to a stop in front of the house. Within moments, he could hear the voices within the house. Pickup truck man just found sofa man asleep. He was yelling at the sleeping man, screaming at the top of his voice for the man to wake up and check on the prisoner. His stomach flipped a little when he realized that he was the prisoner of which the man referred.

Not wanting to squander his new-found freedom, he knew he had to move. Something deep within Kevin's being screamed for him to run, to get the hell out of there, and not get caught trying to get away. He took his own advice. He noted the woods and knew what his first move would be. Staggering and nearly falling over, Ryan stepped up his unsteady trek in the woods. He was expending so much energy trying not to fall, those first few steps were loud, clumsy, but he was able to stay upright and progress deeper into the woods. As time ticked on, he had no way to tell how long he had been running. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest. He had to rest, but knew that if he stopped he might not be able to start back, and it also increased the chance of getting caught.

Kevin's breath was coming in ragged gasps, sweat rolling off him in sheets, and despite all that, he kept running. He never even thought about the fact he was barefoot, the sticks and rocks cutting into his feet, blood beginning to make it more difficult not to be tracked, or even to stay upright, as it became more slippery. Ryan ran as fast as he could, considering he was at best a lumbering, uncoordinated kidnapping victim that was likely sporting a sprained ankle and cracked ribs. He could hear the faint patter of feet coming towards him, but they were not gaining on him. The sounds of angry voices he heard, he couldn't tell how close exactly, but could tell that they were not right on him - he had a chance. If he could stop the blood from giving away his position.  
He opted to keep running, and came to a small stream, where he washed the blood quickly as he physically could, then hid under the underbrush. Pulling off his shirt, he replaced it after he pulled off his undershirt. He took the cotton shirt and tore it quickly into smaller strips, then wrapping it around his feet, tying it in a knot to secure on each appendage.

"I think I see the bastard. Over there!" A voice from near the house shouted out, and Kevin could hear the steps begin a tattoo towards him. Adrenalin coursed through him, pain and bad ankle forgotten, as he ran, a speed that surprised even him. He doubled back some, zig-zagged some, anything to make it more difficult for the men to find him.

Realizing he had to keep moving, he forced his hands to stay steady enough to tie the strips down further, as they had become loosened on his feet from the motion. He was beginning to run out of energy. He had to find a place to hide, to rest. Glancing around left, then right, he searched for somewhere he could camouflage himself, and be able to stay undetected. He spotted a small shed just up ahead. It was out back of a cabin that, from the looks of it, had been long since abandoned. The holes in the walls and roof were larger than the windows. His head was too foggy to think things through too much, so he just went for it. Ryan limped over to the shed, and he quickly went to check the door. To his surprise, the door was unlocked. The interior was early american junk yard, with rusty tools, cobwebs and plenty of dirt. Ryan drug his body through the door and let the door shut behind him. The darkness enveloped him once again. If it weren't for the slivers of sunlight slipping in through the cracked wood walls, he would have sworn he was back in the basement.

Kevin Ryan was kicking himself at his insensitive, cowardly retreat from his friends - more like family actually. He likely screwed things up for good - and at least he thought that Jenny might take him back. Provided he could find a way out of these woods without getting killed. Kevin slid to the back of the shed, until he bumped into a shelf. Sitting in the darkness, his body aching beyond compare, Ryan felt himself be pulled into an exhausted slumber.

Slipping from the depths of the woods, several sets of footsteps quietly padded through the trees. Amid the foliage and brush, moonlight glinted off the side of drawn weapons. The band, on a singular mission, would not stop until that mission was accomplished. The shed came into light and the band quietly descended upon it. Moving around to the sides, no motion could be heard, no light detected. Moving further around the structure, they came to the front. The door slid open quietly, and one of the band slid inside, followed by another and then another. The slumbering ex-cop never heard the activity, his fatigue too great. The next thing he did hear was the loud report from the band.

"Don't move!"

To be continued...


End file.
